No Girls Allowed 5

56. New beginning

"I have been a really bitchy and vain teenager, aware of how my face and charms can make females do anything for me. I was becoming famous, you know many fangirls and a sixteen year old boy don't mach together in the best way. It's a dangerous mixture. I had lost my innocence on an after show party with a random model, I don't even remember her name. I was using a lot of opportunities, messing around, flirting, finishing one affair to start another one," Jaemin bushed hard when Renjun was watching him unable to even imagine a Jaemin like that.

"Until one day I met Stella, a girl who has twisted my head, made me a slave of her posture. I thought I'm in love, I thought it's what it takes to be with someone, yet I was blinded by desire, fouled by her looks, fouled by my youth, my lack of life experience," Jaemin sighed when Renjun felt this story is actually more painful than today's photos.

"After two years on cloud nine she broke my heart and I was left with nothing but hate and pain. I never wanted to feel again, to date, to be involved, to give my heart as it had been treated the wrong way. So I became a bitter loner, distancing myself from others, sinking into my seclusion. I thought I'll stay alone forever, as no person I was meeting could light up a spark. Freaking spark, not even curiosity or attraction, nothing. I thought I've forgotten how to feel until that super boring DL Records party which I left early receiving a call from Mark and Taeil. I took a route behind the building to avoid media attention to see a soaked boy standing there in the pouring skies all alone."

Renjun's heart was beating fast, he will never forget that day.

"I asked him to come with me, wanted to leave him at the boys' so they'll tell Taeyong and Jae he's fine and they don't need to worry about him, but the moment our eyes meet... I don't even know, I can't define those feelings happening to me. Later, when he was dozing off leaning against my shoulder I was so conflicted. He came in the middle of the night pale like a ghost, so scared I almost freaked out until I remembered the company employees talking that Taeyong's kid is suffering under neurosis, a severe kind, so I decided to speak to him, help somehow. Yet it was his spell, waking up the things I never believed are in me, his beautiful eyes watching me in a way... I never deserved to be stared at.

But there was this insane age gap between us and my past and... then I found out Taeyong had left and I knew Renjun needs someone who will be there for him, who will be his friend, so I decided to make his time better, to help, just as a friend, a friend falling head over heels, falling without a warning, trying to fight against it, but nothing helped. Then he had kissed me and..." Jaemin smiled to himself. "I don't know, I just wished to kiss back, because there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss back," their eyes met. "Four years later I'm still here equally ready to kiss back."

He leaned in, his big lips melted in Renjun's licking deeply over his tongue when Renjun simply pulled Jaemin closer both kissing sloppily, hungrily, passionately till they had to pull back for a breath.

"Can you cuddle me?" asked Renjun when Jaemin smiled slipping under the blanket wrapping his strong arms around him. Renjun just cuddled himself and Dalli to Jaemin's chest kissing his skin goodnights, his pain all gone as he was with Jaemin, his Jaemin with magical palms.

"I would also kiss back, always," whispered Renjun caressing his nose into Jaemin's skin finally finding some peaceful sleep.

The sun was high, yet Jaemin was deeply asleep when Renjun had already woken up and was resting his chain on his boyfriend's chest watching his face, the sharp jawline, the line of his neck and cheeks, just caressing them admiringly. He could count all the moles on Jaemin's body again, yes, later as his angel needed sleep. Renjun moved up carefully leaning above Jaemin's face, brushing his lips over that miles long eyelashes that were a little ticklish. He kissed the tip of Jaemin's nose, the sleep rich shape of his upper and lower lip, he stayed there for longer, just lips melting on lips till Jaemin moved up in a smile. He wasn't asleep, he just pretended when Renjun became embarrassed pulling back.