No Girls Allowed 5

57. Six months

Warm like a heated up blanket, the wooden floor underneath his feet was giving Jae a little courage when he was walking towards the kitchen dressed up in Taeyong's hoodie and sweatpants. It was like a scene from many years ago. Right after his first time he had been claiming the same corridor with the same nervousness.

Taeyong was sitting on a kitchen chair, his drying hair strings a lovely mess, so lovely Jae just cuddled into it inhaling that scent. Was he insane? Taeyong has done so much harm to him and Junie, yet there was this power he couldn't tame, not even after four years of silence, this power that was drawing him to Taeyong with a magnetic force.

"You smell deliciously," Jae rubbed his face into Taeyong's soft hair.

"I know you're thirsty for pleasure after so many years of nothing."

"Afen't you?"

"I am, you're like a drug, but... Junie has called." Taeyong let out a long sigh.
"I've told him that we... yeah..."

"What? You've told Junie!" Jae let go of Taeyong. "B... but he will think that we... we..."

"Don't you want to go back?" Taeyong looked up at him taking his hands in his palms. "I mean, I understand that what I did is unforgivable. I get it. I would have stayed in my hideout in the States if Juni hasn't come. I even wanted you to move on. Not because I don't love you, just because I find myself totally unworthy to be with you, but then Junie came and... I just... all that love burst out so significantly. I couldn't hide anymore. I needed to see my son, to spend time with him."

Taeyong was speaking seriously when Jae was just standing there considering it.

"Then I came back and saw you, wow. I realized I have been crazy to leave. Yet, I decided to not to try to draw you into being with me again, but I'm weak. I'm just a hopelessly in love man who needs you like daylight. Who can't stand without holding your hand, kissing you, looking into your eyes."

Jae was biting his lip, his rushed heartbeat speeding up at Taeyong's words. Was it only because he has needed to be with someone physically so badly he was going insane - last night? Just physically he could have had that stranger in the club or any other man, yet he has come here to have that Taeyong. Jae realized, he has been trying to pretend it never existed, but since the moment Taeyong had kissed him in front of Jaemin's beach house, actually, since he has appeared back Jae was going insane fighting with himself to not to fall, as he has wished nothing more than to do what he had done last night.

"Don't explain," he whispered brushing his lips over Taeyong's profile.

"What?"

"Just don't explain."

Something cracked, like a dense layer letting go when a Jae pulled Taeyong up carrying him to the counter pressing him to the cupboards, sucking small hickeys along his neck until Taeyong let out a soft moan. It wasn't about Taeyong anyway. Last night in that club he has reached an edge, realizing he's so done with being alone as much as he had found out he needs that one man he loves, not just anyone.

Defenses falling, Jae had to admit he was a human after all, one who needed love, a relationship and sex. Lying to himself stopped being an option as Jae has been fighting for so long to not to admit he couldn't stand being without Taeyong any longer, so his decision was made when he has reached that house last night, to give himself again no matter if Taeyong will stay or break his heart.