Season 5 Bethyl

Truth About Pain

Truth About Pain

As she storms down the road, her tears have diminished and anger fills up her tiny body. This life was ridiculous. She wasn't going to be accused of anything, especially when one of the people involved couldn't even say how they felt. At least not in front of the others or in real words. She doesn't make it far before Maggie has caught up with her, along with Glenn, Tara, and surprisingly Michone.

"Beth stop." Maggie reaches for her arm, when Beth turns around, and fumes.

"Why! What's the point? They don't need me! He don't need me! Why can't ya'll jus let me be!?"

"Beth, I know you don't think we need ya, but we love you. All of us. Even Carol. She's just mad cause she knew Daryl first. Probably thought she deserved him. But Beth, you can't go." Glenn, who never usually has much to say steps forward in front of Beth. She's taken aback by him.

"Why should I Glenn? What use am I?" She's still very mad but is sort of coming down fromt he adrenaline.

"Yer a mother! That's why. If you don't go back that baby girl of yers is gonna be motherless...again. She never knew Lori, hell, she probably don't know anyone as her real mother, but you. you can't abandon her Beth. Even if it means living with Daryl and Carol the rest of her life. She needs her mother Beth. She needs you." Contemplating everything, she just doesn't know if she can go back there and live with them. True, she is Judith's adoptive mother, but she can't live with two people who would most likely end up together, crushing her.

"Beth, you once told me that we all have jobs to do. We don't get to cry any more. Well Beth, that lil girl is yer job. And Daryl's the one crying over this, not you. So you need to go back and do yer job. Screw all of them and what they think they know. You know the truth. He knows the truth. Carol knows nothing. Let her stew in her own guilt. You have a baby to mother. Now get yer ass back to that house and take responsiblilty." Michone sweetly, but sternly says and Beth can't help but feel interrogated. They turn back toward the house and start walking. As they do, Michone walks by Beth. "He loves you. He's jus' too stupid to say it. To stand up for ya. But he does."

"I can't love im Michone. Not after what I did. I don't deserve him."

"Honey, we all make mistakes. And in this world, you have to move past them quickly cause you never know when yer last breath is."

"Yer right, Chone. I just wish Carol wouldn't be this way. It's like ever since she lost her daughter, she has some entitlement to be a brat whenever she wants."

"Some people's like that. Think they's still better than other people, but ya know what, we got the upper hand with God. And she knows it."

Back at the houses, Tyreese buries Eugene as Rick and Rosita talk it over as what to do about Abraham. He was a killer, whether he meant it or not. Carol sits on the porch and Daryl by a tree, crying in his hands while Carl bounces Judith inside on the couch. No one speaks about what went on with Beth and Daryl. No one yells or snaps on Carol about her actions. Silence is all but golden in this moment. Abraham, doesn't move from his spot as he stares at the blood on his knuckles.

"What should we do?" Rick looks at Rosita with discearning eyes.

"He's not a bad guy. I know he didn't mean to kill Eugene. Rick, I don't expect you to trust him, but he's not a bad guy. He just made a mistake."

"Yeah, well that kind of mistake is a dangerous one."

"I know, but..." Turning, they notice the group that went after Beth, returning. Carol stands up as they get closer. Daryl, doesn't even notice until they all, but Abraham, Tyreese, and Carl, go to see her.

"Beth I'm so sorry... I don't know what came over me, but..."

"Save it Carol. We all make mistakes. Jus... stay away from me." Beth passes her by and notices Daryl by the tree. If he really loved her, he'd come and get her, but he doesn't move and that hurts her. Passing him by, he doesn't look up as she goes into the house and nicely takes Judith from Carl. Going back outside, Daryl catches her eyes, and they both look away. She heads back over to the group and they are discussing Abraham and the situation.

"He's fine. A mistake, no matter how big, is still a mistake. Let's all just move on. Noah said something about a safe place in Richmond Virginia. I say we go there. Work our way up to Maryland, maybe. Snow's gotta slow em down." They all look at Beth and know she's probably right. Rick smiles and then looks back a Abraham, who seems to be punishing himself.

"Alright, Ms. Greene, seems ya can take charge... if you think ya can handle it."

"I don't wanna be in charge Rick... I just wanna get out of here." Beth readjusts Judith on her hip and Rick can only agree.

"Okay. Well, let's get our stuff and go find some cars that we can use to get us up North." Sasha and Tyreese come over to Beth and look at her sorrowfully.

"You okay?"

"Sasha, if I wasn't okay, I think it still wouldn't matter. Feelings don't matter any more in this world. Surviving is about all that matters." She's cold, heartless maybe, but she can't blame herself. She's put too much effort into caring for people. Into caring for him. She doesn't want to be the one who gets emotionally hurt any more. She shouldn't have to be that person. She's isn't going to be that person. Not any more. In fact, she doesn't care what happens to her. Her job is to keep Judith alive and safe. Fuck herself and the others. She doesn't need to be emotionally attatched at the hip of a man who doesn't love her. She's perfectly fine with being alone. Because being alone, ensures that she's never getting hurt again.

Packing up their things, Rick, Glenn, and Michone found three cars- four passanger truck, a mini van, and a Ford escape. Rick, Michone, Carl, and Sasha took the truck. Abraham, Rosita, Tyreese, and Carol took the mini van, and that left Maggie, Glenn, Daryl and Beth with Judith in the Escape. Daryl drives with Beth in the passanger seat. They don't look at each other or speak, unless it's about the drive or direction. Beth seems cold, while Daryl just hurt. Maggie and Glenn can feel the tension rising in the car, but say nothing because they don't want to open that can of worms, just yet.

Maggie feels Beth should take her own advice about mistakes, but knows that Beth has become not only hard, but also very stubborn. It pains her to see her sister this way. To see her hating the world, even if at the moment all she should really hate is the walkers and not her sorta boyfriend or whatever her and Daryl were. Another thing that bugs Maggie is that Beth is too much like stone. Ever since all the terrible stuff happened to Beth, she seems like nothing bad faces her. Walkers, don't seem to scare her, or losing someone. She's as cold as the arctic and Maggie hates seeing her take this road. Beth on the other hand knows that it's only a matter of time before someone else goes. She's not waiting around to cry over another dead person she knew. Which does make her cold and heartless, but what do you ecxpect from someone who's done putting up with drama and this shit for nothing world.

Driving on the interstate, There's barely any cars to pass or dodge. There's certainly none to loot from. Keeping focused on the road, Daryl can feel his heart twist every time Beth moves next to him. He wishes he could explain how she makes him feel. How losing her today has made him feel, but he can't. She wouldn't listen, if he even knew the words to say. This isn't his Beth. This wasn't last night's Beth or this morning's Beth. This Beth is a Beth who doesn't give a shit about anything...except Judith, which is better than her hating everything, he guesses. And thinking about it now, that's the truth about alot of things, especially pain.

The truth is, Pain never goes away, even when you think it's gone. Pain is hidden beneath everything. So even if he loves Beth, pain is just waiting beneath that too. And he'll never escape pain, especially when it comes to losing her.