Balance ~ Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

Chapter 56

"Do you think I don't have every security protocol on him?" He said facing me as I was sat on the couch that was in our apartment. He stood across from me on the other side of the coffee table. "I have cameras, sensors, alarms, and audio recordings covering every square inch of his floor. I have even more inside his cell."

"Ben-"

"No you don't get to talk right now." He said point his finger at me. I could see his face turning red from how angry he was. "Why would you fraternize with the enemy? He's spend the last year trying to killjoy across the galaxy and now all of sudden you have this urge to wake him up and befriend him. Then to follow his plans when not even a month ago he was holding a lightsaber through your body. Have you lost your damn mind?"

"You haven't even heard me out." I said throwing my hands to the side.

"Oh I heard everything I need to hear. You are causing security threats to the entire ship. You cannot keep going off the wall and doing things on your own without anyone else." He said.

"Why." I said standing up. "Because it's your base? Because you're The Supreme Leader?"

"Yes it is actually." He said standing up straight and signing up and speaking in a quieter tone. He seemed caught off guard by me suddenly speaking up.

"I'm the one who is risking my life for all of this, to help us do the right thing! It's not like I agreed to any plan, why am I being scolded like a child for trying to figure it out?" I yelled stepping towards him. "He's the one person who knows Luke's current motives and I'm sorry, but he's our only hope to understand what we could be up against."

"Because you're not thinking before you do anything. You're jumping into situations without even telling me, I can't tell you how many times you've given me a heart attack going on these suicide missions." He said towering over me.

"I am thinking, but just because you don't understand how I think doesn't mean I'm just being stupid. You're not my dad, I don't need to ask you permission before everything I do." I said.

"You're acting like you need one." He said and I saw the instant regret in his face. I felt a pit in my stomach. It had felt like he just reached deep down inside of me and got me where it hurt most.

"Don't you dare say anything like that again. I don't need to go through you. I'm trying to fight for the same cause you are and I have this constant feeling like you don't trust me. The imperial ship was a dumb move, I'll acknowledge that. Today was a rational choice. Apollo wouldn't have spoken to me the same if your were there anyways. I wasn't in danger and it's not like I've taken action on anything he said. I would clearly come to you with everything he said before I did anything. It's not my fault you came to me before I could come to you." I said holding back my emotions. I had a welt growing in my throat and I was trying to hold it down.

"What's causing this?" He asked angrily. "This defiance against me. I know I've been an ass in our relationship, but what's causing this?"

"I'm not trying to defy you, but the Force is guiding me and I'm trying to listen to it. You've told me that from the very start and I'm trying to do that. You don't need to understand the process, but know that I'm not just pulling it out of my ass. I'm trying to do the right thing, there's so much more than you think going on." I said.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"The Force ghosts Ben. They've been visiting me and guiding me. I have to listen to them for your sake and mine." I said.

"What do you mean my sake?" He asked clearly not understanding.

"We can both die and this is all ruined if I don't make the right choices. I can't save you if you keep fighting against me. I need you to really trust me." I said. He stood silent for a moment still towering over me.