Balance ~ Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

Chapter 69

I walked through the doors of our room and Ben was sat at the counter having a cup of some steaming liquid. His eyes shot to me when I entered. A small smirk spread across his face as he turned is chair to face me. I stepped between his legs and his arms snaked around me. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and I smelt the bitter warm smell from his drink.

"Hello beautiful." He said smiling down at me.

"Good morning." I said with a small smile. My body was in a constant searing pain. My bruises were still as dark as they were when I left Coruscant. They were deep and invasive. It typically took me a while to get going in the morning because of how stiff every joint in my body was.

"How are you?" He asked.

"I'm alright, better I guess." I said placing my chin in his chest as I looked up at him.

"That's good," he said smiling.

"Can we talk about something?" I asked in a worrisome tone.

"Of course." He said placing his hand on the small of my back.

"I've been thinking about The First Order." I said and I felt almost a bubble or worry grow in my stomach.

"And?" He asked as his hand brushed over my cheek.

"I don't know." I said letting out a heavy sigh. "I know there's nothing to fight against right now, but what about in the future."

"Athena, we cannot be responsible for saving the galaxy every time something goes wrong." He said with a small chuckle. "We took out Luke Skywalker and Rey, we just saved the galaxy from chaos. Don't you think we've done enough?"

"No, Ben. Everything we've ever trained for, are we just supposed to throw that away?" I asked standing up straight as his hands pulled away. "What if we need to save people, are we just supposed to ignore the cries for help?"

"Athena, you can't save everyone." He said and I immediately saw the regret in his face. A deep pit formed in my stomach and I stepped back. I crossed my arms defensively in front of me. "Athena I did not mean that."

"Do you?" I asked harshly. I cross my arms over my ribs and bit the inside of my lip.

"Athena no, I just meant that your taking on too much responsibility." He said standing up and trying to grab my arms, but I backed up once again. I could feel my emotions welling in my throat as I tried to keep them down.

"But who else would?" I asked almost squeaking out my words.

"It doesn't matter, it's not your responsibility anymore." He said sternly.

"That's not your choice Ben." I said. "You told me to decide."

"Maybe it should be." He said and I was hurt. He once trusted me with making that choice and here he was taking it away because he didn't like my answer. "Maybe I do need to make this choice."

"Fine then you make the choice." I said throw my arms out to the side. "You can do whatever you want, but I can't rest when I could be saving people."

"Athena, no." He said shaking his head. "You're not putting yourself in danger anymore."

"Then why did you give me the choice if you're just going to do what you want anyways?" I asked.

"I don't know." He said standing over me. "I can't risk you like that, ever again."

"Ben that's not-

"I said no Athena." He said cutting me off and looming over me. We stood there watching each other in silence.

"You can do what you want with The First Order, but you cannot tell me what to do with my life." I said standing up for myself.