Between Two

Chapter 18

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I thought. Oh my god, I am so s-" Chris pulled me back towards him, pressing his lips against mine.

Instead of pushing him away, I kissed him back, melting into his embrace. His kiss was slow, it wasn't rushed at all. He was a great kisser, but to be fair he's the first guy I've ever kissed. I pulled away, afraid to look into his eyes. Chris gently put his thumb under my chin, moving my head up so I was looking at him.

"You don't need to apologize, Aviana." I slightly laughed, wrapping my arms around his torso.

I rested my cheek against his chest, more confused than ever.

"Damn, I'm so proud!" Chris and I jumped away from each other, looking to see Tara staring at us in amazement. Jonah stood next to her, his mouth slightly open.

"Uh... I... need to... I... bathroom." I muttered it, moving away from Chris.

I pushed myself between Tara and Jonah, suddenly needing some space. What the hell did I just do? I walked down the hall, walking past the couples making out. I went into a random room, sighing in relief to see that it was empty. I kissed Chris, but I thought it was Jonah at first. It shouldn't matter, right? As long as my first kiss was good, it's fine.

"This isn't the bathroom." I jumped in surprise, turning around to see Jonah quietly closing the door.

"I-I know, I just needed some space." Jonah was quiet for a moment and I bit my lip, unsure of what to say.

He walked towards me, his steps slow. I didn't know what he was going to do, I was nervous, confused, anxious. I had no idea what was happening. When he stopped in front of me, he cupped my cheek and leaned in towards me.

"I'm sorry." I went to question him, but he kissed me.

Many different emotions hit me at once. I liked it, I didn't like it, it was wrong, but it felt right. I liked him... I liked Chris. I felt horrible, I felt happy. I wanted to keep kissing him. I wanted to stop.

I pulled away, taking a step back, "Aviana, I'm sorry... I-" I shook my head, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"No, I'm sorry, I... I'm sorry." I walked away from him, needing to be alone. I needed to think about this.

I was in a state of shock and confusion. Chris or Jonah? Was it really possible to have feelings for two people at once?

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"No, I'm good, mom." She frowned, moving to sit down in front of me.

"Are you sure?" I nodded, not really wanting to eat. I couldn't, how can I when I feel like a nervous wreck?

"Is something wrong?" I licked my lips, shaking my head at her.

Nothing was wrong, except there was. I probably just screwed up the new friendship I made with Jonah and Chris. Hell, I think I might of screwed up their friendship. No, maybe I didn't. Chris said nothing could get between them. So, technically, I'm not between them. Am I? No, definitely not.

My mom sighed, standing up and squeezed my shoulder before walking out of the kitchen. I glanced towards my phone as it started ringing, the screen lighting up showing Chris' name. I should answer it, but I was scared to. I felt sick. I grabbed it, answering his call.

"Hey, Chris, how are you?" I cringed, hearing the high pitch to my voice.

"I'm fine, you wanna come with me and Jonah to the park? We're taking Gracie." I blew out a breath, tapping my nails against the kitchen table.

I could do that. It wouldn't be just us three. We'd have Chris' adorable little sister there as a distraction. What's the harm in hanging out with the two?

"Sure, I'd love to come." Chris told me he'd come pick me up, a cheery edge to his voice. Something I'd never really thought I'd hear. He seemed happy.

I hung up on him, quickly walking out of the kitchen. I jogged up the stairs to my room, my heart racing. I don't know why I was so nervous. I just felt like everything was going to come crashing down.

I grabbed a pair of high waisted shorts, debating whether or not I should wear them. I'm not one to show skin that much, I don't like to. I just don't like the way I look. I hate it, I always judge myself. I wish I didn't. Deciding my answer, I started changing, pulling on the shorts then looked for a top. I pulled my hair into a pony tail, hoping he was here already.

I grabbed a pair of slip on Vans, biting my lip when there was a knock on the door.

"Aviana, Chris is waiting for you downstairs." I slipped my shoes on, feeling uneasy about this whole thing.

I walked out of my room, smiling at my mom when she stared at me weirdly, "What? Is something wrong?" She shook her head, moving to walk down the stairs.

"Okay, it's okay, everything will be fine. Don't be stupid." I whispered it to myself, putting on a smile as I started walking down the stairs.

"Hi, Chris!" I cursed myself, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. Too ecstatic.

"Stop, it's fine... Is Jonah..." I didn't finish, not wanting to ask any questions about Jonah right now. I'll ask later. Or maybe not.

I opened my mouth again, and missed a step because I'm a fucking idiot. Yup, that's what I am. I tumbled down the stairs, and Chris ran up to me. So did my mom.

"Are you okay?" I moved away from Chris and my mom, standing up.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." I faked a smile, my body hurting every where. I want to die.

"You sure? That was a pretty hard fall... you just... went rolling..." By now my face was most likely a bright red.

"No, I'm fine, I... I'm sorry, Chris, I just want to be alone right now. Sorry for wasting your time." I walked back up the stairs, wishing I didn't have to mess things up.

Nothing was complicated or confusing. I was making it complicated and confusing. I needed to un-complicate things. I just need to tell both Jonah and Chris that I want to stay friends. I'm sure things will go back to the way they were.