Different realities, Different Lives, Different Worlds.

Maddi

Clarke had always told her daughter that as Commander, as Wanheda, you take lives but you also give although it was still hard. One day her daughter would take her place whether it be because she died in battle or she eventually would step down somewhere along the rode. Only Clarke always thought her death would be in battle, Maddi slept in her arms, she was scared though that if she ever did die Maddi would be alone. Clarke wanted to be selfish with her daughter, not wanting her to be the next Wanheda, the next Commander, she wanted her to be able to settle happily with a husband or wife. Not having to worry about being called out to war. 

It was something that she wanted and wouldn't get just like when Maddi's mother died at the beginning. Clarke was just Clarke at the beginning, not yet Wanheda or Heda, and she couldn't even save her wife from a damn walker yet she could be called the Commander of Death taking multiple lives. Clarke was the first Commander to intiate the idea of the clans, to intiate peace, she brought together the clans after the civil war and was consider the Peace Keeper as well. "Nomon, I can hear you thinking." Maddi said quietly as she had fallen asleep in her mother's lap but the reason she awoke was because of the Wanheda's tear that fell on her cheek. 

"I'm sorry, goufa." 

"Nomon would have been proud of us. You think of her often." Maddi knew that her Nomon's anniversary was tomorrow and that day that she died was already hard for her and the Wanheda. 

"Ai do ai hodnes." 

"Nou blame yourself nomon." Maddi sat up looking at her mother who's face was red and puffy with tears "I know she does not blame you either as a mother I'm sure she wanted you to save me rather than herself."

"I could have saved her, goufa." 

Maddi shook her head "No, Nomon. It was just us three at that time." Raven and Octavia hadn't found them till hours later after Nomon's death, even they wished they had made it on time because they realized the change it had caused Clarke. 

"I still have you." 

Maddi nodded "Ai hod yu Nomon."

"Will you sleep here tonight my hodness?" Maddi nodded knowing her mother, not Wanheda nor Commander, her mother needed her more than anything. They slept that night in Clarke's bed peacefully and hadn't shown their faces at all the next day staying in Clarke's chamber.

"Raven," Lexa had a question although it was something that she should ask Clarke about "have you seen Clarke?"

"You won't see her all day," Raven said as she was mourning in her way to leave flowers at Pamela's grave that Clarke and Maddi had built within the tower garden "you won't see her till tomorrow but did you need something?"

"I was wondering what Aden would need to do to get into the Academy and if he'd be able to do it after we return from the Clan tour. Also if I can get a summary of what and who I need to know so that way I don't look stupid. and is she okay?" 

Raven gave a soft chuckle at Lexa "I will get the list of what you need to know about the Clan tour as for Aden joining he just needs to know how to handle a gun along with a sword or dagger. The next orientation for the Academy will be a few days after return so he will be able to join then but I will also get you a syllabus for the Academy it is harsh. As for Wanheda and Maddi someone important passed away today a year ago so they take the day off and continue duties the next."

"My condolences." Lexa nodded "Well I will get out of your hair let me know when you have that and I can come get it from you I'll be training Aden in the meantime." 

Raven nodded and watched Lexa go then made her way up to the 52nd floor where the tower garden was and right beside the waterfall near a willow tree laid Pamela's grave. Around this time everyone who knew Pamela would come down to lay flowers, Octavia had already been here, along with Jasper and Monty. Clarke and Maddi would not lay flowers till around nightfall and sleep under the willow tree with Pamela for the night it was something the both of them did. Raven laid down the white roses which were Pamela's second favorite flower next to a sunflower "She's getting better," a tear fell onto the roses "I'm sure she tells you everything, Pam. I wanted to love her the way you did. It didn't happen and for the best sometimes I feel like we betrayed you by bedding her it also sounds stupid blaming it on human nature as well." Raven laughed as she shook her head remembering the way Pamela would laugh at her jokes, eyes closed, head thrown back, and her holding a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. "I miss you and I hope that someday for you that Clarke can finally show herself to someone again I feel like maybe that's why you've brought Lexa here."

Pamela and Lexa looked similar only Lexa had forest green eyes and Pamela had hazel brown eyes "I hope that she finds her happiness again. We are doing well, we are actually thriving, you would have loved it even the garden that Clarke had put in as a remembrance to you.  Ai hod yu Pamela Sky." Raven took her leave knowing it was already time for Maddi and Clarke to come out for the night and stay in the garden to make their little camp beside Pamela. 

Clarke and Maddi had set up for the night at Pamela's grave a few minutes after Raven had left, on nights like these, they would tell scary stories or catch Pamela up on everything. Maddi would talk to Pamela about the Academy or how they were finally at peace, how Lexa and Aden along with Indra joined them, she also whispered about her crush to Pamela when she thought Clarke wasn't listening. Clarke was happy to hear that her daughter was being a bit normal or at least a little less weird, don't get Clarke wrong she loved that about her daughter, that she was different in every aspect. Clarke just wanted her to have that regular teenage crush, tantrums, or sneaking out of the tower once in awhile but then again she didn't want to learn what that was like just yet. Soon Maddi fell asleep and Clarke was alone with the candles throughout the garden being the only night and the stars and moon above her "Maddi mentioned Lexa but I don't think she mention how much she looks like you," she played with the sunflower between her fingertips "it was out of nowhere that she walked in but I knew that day was different from any other. I don't want you to think I'm replacing you because no one could ever replace you in my heart I'm just scared of opening up and I have Maddi to think of sometimes it feels like I'm doing wrong."

Clarke sighed setting the sunflower down then chancing a look at Maddi's sleeping form them back to Pamela's grave. "I hope I'm not and I hope this doesn't seem like a betrayal to you but I know you would want me happy. To move on and find what I had with you but with someone else maybe eventually be able to tell them about you. I love you my moon and stars. Goodnight."