A shimmer on the horizon (Sancest multiship) [Discontinued]

Chapter 18 - Couch potato

??? PoV:

My fingers tipped on the keyboard, flying from one button to another, never resting, stoping or even hesitating for a second.

My eyes didn't leave the screen, always following the shining icons that were made by my touch. My glasses were on my nose, after years in the dark, only the screens as a light source, my eye light became very bad, so bad that I couldn't even see a thing that is a feet away from me.

The voices shouted, cried, begged at me, to stop, to get a break and rest my overworked brain.

But I couldn't, I simply couldn't.

Every time I closed my eyes, I was greeted by nightmares. They were about my childhood, but mostly about the mistakes I made in my live, what I could have done different and how many people wouldn't have to suffer because of me.

The voices used to laugh at them, pointing them out and saying how pathetic I was. The first time I heard them was a few years after I woke up in a hospital in the city. I'd been wash ashore at the beach and the people found me unconscious. They called the ambulance and picked me up.

And there I was: confused what was going on, still hurt from the fight of that last night and with a wide slash that went from my right shoulder across my whole breast to a few inches under my armpit. The wound closed slowly, for years I wasn't able to leave the bed without a sting pain.

The hospital kept me in, I hacked the system right after I was able to, the doctors really didn't leave me for a second out of their eyes. I made me a new identity, I was a passenger from a different island and my ship got into a storm, leaving me as the only survivor.

Years passed, but finally my wound closed, leaving a bright, dark gray scar. It always reminds me of all my mistakes I've done this horrifying night.

And right after that was the first time the voices spoke to me.

They laughed at me, enjoying my confusion and desperation, commenting every word I spoke and even when I was silent couldn't they leave me alone.

Why don't you talk with us?

Have you swallowed your own tongue?

You're so pathetic, so helpless, you really are NOTHING!

You deserve all of the pain, you worthless piece of glitch! And you know it too right?

That went on for months, the voices screamed at me day and night, not allowing me to get a rest. When someone talked to me, they insulted me so loud that I could not understand the other. The next thing is that when I responded to them, other people around me gave me strange looks from the side, the voices were only in my head. When I screamed back, to leave me alone, others thought I talked to them.

So I was left alone, alone in a with hospital room, with beeping machines all around me and only the mean voices as company.

So one day, my mind snapped. I went insane and killed all the people on the island, destroyed buildings, woods, everything. I laughed insanely the whole time, the voices joined my laughter all the time, saying that this was exactly what they wanted.

Only at the end of the day I realized what I'd done. I just destroyed a whole population, humans, monsters, everyone. I was desperate as never before, I didn't know what to do. I killed before of course, to survive, for my crew, to help others.

But this... this was something different.

I hadn't done it because I wanted it, I hadn't done it because of a reason.