you dumb, sad bitch

2:48am

  song: fuckin' fun by scotty sire

   oh my god. i don't know what kind of magic spell i sent out by writing about P last night but holy shit it worked. we talked all day today, and he actually showed real interest in me and our conversation. i deleted snapchat for a free hours but redownloaded it and relied to one of his snaps and he said "i thought you were getting off?" and i explain what happened and he said "oh okay. i was gonna ask for your number but i thought it was too late."
   he actually wanted to talk to me. the boy that i have swooned over for months actually showed interest in me. he actually wants something to do with me.
   i don't know if there is a God up there watching me, but if there is, they did so good for me today, and i'm so thankful. last night was rough for me, i cried myself to sleep, but today made up for it. today was good. i'm glad i had a good day again.
   i hope i don't jinx this, but maybe i will by even saying that?? weird. he's just so perfect to me. which is not a word i use lightly. he's genuinely everything i've ever dreamed of. everything i wished for in a boy. and maybe, he might end up wanting me back?
    i'm happy tonight.