O.C.D [ Fransykes ]

32. just a dream

"Tom! That's mine!" I say snatching the toy dinosaur away from him. I might be almost a teenager but I love my toys. I dont want my ten year old brother messing with them.

"Oliviaaaaa give mee," he says and I fight for it. Well not fight, just struggle.

"Tom let go of your sister's toy," our dad says and I stick out my tongue at him making him pout.

"Can we go to Jordan's?" I ask our dad. I think I have a crush on Jordan but he likes a different girl. Am I not pretty enough? My brown curry hair goes down to my waist and all the girls are jealous of it. This is a good and bad thing. I make friends with the popular pretty girls but other girls think I'm snobby. Elementary school is so hard to fit in.

And I think.. I think I like the girls more than I like the boys. Well its really confusing. I like Jordan but I also like Alisa.. shes cute.. I'm a girl, why do I like a girl? As I'm thinking I miss my dad's answer but Tom grabs my hand and we start walking so I'm pretty sure I was just sparing out and we are allergic to go.

Halfway down the road we see a cool machine thing. It's big and yellow and a vehicle. I love trucks and cool machines. I'm a girl but I'm very boyish. I love catching frogs and lizards and dinosaurs are life. But I want to fit in so at school I try not to do that stuff.

"Wowz, let's check it out!" My brother squeals. My brother is the only one to treat me like.. like who I am. We go to the big opening and he gets in it. "Are theses blades?" He asks and I lean in to see.

They look like blades?

Then something happens that my brain doesn't process. The blades move and grab tom and drag him in. His screaming pierce the air and I hear people screaming. I freeze and watch the machine eat my brother and his blood sprays on me as his body convulses.

I never thought I'd see my brother's guts. I never thought I'd be covered in his blood. "You didnt check the wood chipper before turning it on!?" Somebody screams and another person tries to save my brother..

You cant save somebody that doesn't have half of their body.. I scream and cry and the workers try to comfort me but I scream and cry saying things like 'no' and 'please no' but nothing brings my little brother back.

This is what fucked me up..

I black out and when I open my eyes Josh is telling me to wake up. I look at him still crying. "Fuck, Oli, you're okay," his voice is tired and he hugs me.

I cry in his chest. I've done this every night the past week. Josh falls asleep in class now and he seems more stressed. I'm keeping him from sleeping.. I choke on my crying and cough a bit. After a few minutes I calm down a little and he looks down at me looking upset.

"Please tell me what you dream about.. maybe if you talk about it you're mind will stop replaying it at night," he almost begs.

"I'm sorry.. let's sleep," I say turning us so we are on our sides facing each other. "Its just a dream," I add and kiss him lightly. Then he sighs and we go back to sleep.

I hate sleeping..

Thoughts

Theories

Oops

I mean.. it happens