Out of Nowhere

Dreams & The Boys

His touch feels amazing. I feel like I shouldn't like it, but I do. I open my eyes, expecting to see my boyfriend, but it isn't him. It's a different boy. I want to stop. I can't stop. Why am I doing this?! I'm such a slut. I'm losing my virginity to someone I don't even know. Or do I? He seems familiar. I want to stop. I need to stop. But I can't, I don't.

I wake up, panting. The events from the past day (days? I don't even know anymore, I can't deal with this stress) come rushing back, and I remember. Ben cheated on me. I lost my virginity to Ashton. He doesn't know that it was my first time. I should regret it, I know I should. But strangely enough, I don't.

I attempt to push all of this out of my mind, and focus on something else. I guess I should try and get ready... I drag myself up out of bed and into the shower, lazily washing myself. I get out, dry off, and brush my teeth. I then dry my hair and brush it into a messy ponytail. I go over to my closet, and almost take out a pair of oversized sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but then I remember that the boys are coming over today, so I should probably look presentable. I decide on my cropped blue GEEK t-shirt, black skinny jeans with rips in them, and my all black high-top converse. I keep my makeup pretty natural, except for my eyeliner (I just do my usual cat-eye).

I go downstairs and see Kat (who is wearing black leggings, a red and black flannel, and knitted black Uggs) eating breakfast by herself. I wonder why Vicky isn't down yet, she's always up early. Kat looks up and me, and she must sense my confusion, because she says, "I tried, but she really did NOT want to come down. She said that she was uncomfortable with meeting the boys today, because of everything that happened with Brian. She says she doesn't want to ruin it for us, though, and that she will just stay upstairs until they leave. She doesn't feel safe around boys anymore, and I'm worried about her." She frowns, and I can tell she is really scared for Vicky. Vicky was never good with putting herself out to meet new people, and did not trust people very easy (much like me actually), but she had been getting better recently, and now all of her confidence is gone, and she will have to start all over. As her best friends, Kat and I are really worried for her. I move towards the staircase, but Kat stops me. "She told me not to let you go up. She knew that if you saw her, you'd tell the boys not to come over. She said she just wants to be alone right now. But she says that we should still have the boys over, because it will be 'good for us'." We both giggle at the sentiment, because I think we both know that we don't have many friends here. But at least I have an excuse; I haven't lived here in over a decade, and I'm still settling back in. I'm not to sure why Kat and Vicky don't have many friends, but whatever, it's not a good time to ask.

I quickly make some toast, and am very thankful when it is done because I am REALLY hungry. I devour my toast, and then check the time. It's like 12:30, the boys should be here soon....

As if on cue, my phone beeps with a text from Ashton.
Ashton→Kylie: Hey, the boys & I r leaving now. Txt me ur address? (C u soon xx)
Kylie→Ashton: Oh yeah, sure, it's: ********************************. C u soon!!!! Xx

I look up from my phone, smiling. I walk into the living room, tell Kat that the boys are on their way, and run back to the kitchen to take out some food and drinks. I take out potato chips and popcorn and put them in bowls. I also take some bottles of water out of the fridge and put them on the counter. I run back to the living room and rearrange all of the pillows on the couches. Why am I freaking out about this?! It's completely normal to want to make your house look nice when new people are coming over, right? But maybe not when they're teenage boys...

I hear a knock at the door and freeze, looking towards the entrance to our flat. I drop the pillow I'm holding and see Kat come running into the room. We give each other the same wide-eyed look, and then we sprint to the door. She stands behind me as I reach to grab the door knob, ready to let our new friends into our home.