VALERIA POV
I get home and scream as I slam my door.
No one was home so I didn't care to let all my emotions out. It's what I needed to do. Everything was building up inside me and I was letting it kill me. I felt like I was suffocating.
I throw my backpack on the ground and jump on my bed as I scream into the pillow. I start grabbing the pictures in my drawer that I ever took with Ethan. I start to rip them apart and and then I go to my bathtub and turn the shower head on. I throw them in the water and continue to rip the other ones. Before I realize that's not what I wanted to do to them they were already ruined. I cry and throw my self in the water too. It's too much. To see my soulmate loving someone else. It really is the worst feeling ever. It's like screaming but no one can hear you. At the same time it's like you're choking on all your words. The feeling of needles poking your throat and finally you let it all out, you feel like you can't breathe and your vision begins to blur and before you know it, you have nothing left in your life. Just the crumbs of everything that's gone. Everything you thought was yours. But it wasn't. This hurts so bad. I wish I had someone to talk to. To hug and a shoulder to cry on. It's just I don't think no one would understand. And the one person I really wanted was Ethan who was falling in love with someone else. It's like everything we've done together meant absolutely nothing to him. It was just a game to him. And I lost.
I cry as the warm water drips over my head onto the pictures. I hug my knees as I bring them toward my chest and my clothes get heavy wet. I continue to cry there for hours. Alone. I felt so depressed. I didn't want to feel pain any longer. But nothing seemed to numb it.
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The next morning I wake up and walk to the bathroom. I look in the mirror. My eyes are all puffy, red, and swollen. I can't go to school looking like this. I can't let anybody see me like this, especially Ethan. This is what he wants. He wants me to go through pain over him. And that's exactly what was happening. I want to get over him but it's just so hard. I love him too much. So much.
I start getting notifications on my phone.
It's Alondra and Maria.
Alondra: u coming to school?
Maria: 1st period is almost over Val
Me: nah I'm staying in today. I have a lot on my mind.
Maria: aw I hope whatever it is that u feel better soon. Don't forget u can tell us anything <3
Alondra: bitch! Who's ass do I need to kick?
Me: thanks guys, I love u & no ones Alo lol it's all good.
Alondra: u promise? :'(
Maria: alo ur so crazy
Me: I promise<3
I smile at the thought that I still have my best friends by my side. Even through our ups and downs they were still there.
Sometimes I knew I didn't deserve them.
I sit in bed as I think about what am I going to do with my fucking self. Then suddenly I get another notification.
I check my phone and see it's from Ethan.
Ethan: Val, where r u?
I ignore him.
