Deadly Double Love

Deadly Double Love 9

I stayed on my bed for a long time, not moving or thinking, just lying there. I remained there until I heard my dad call Addie and me down for dinner. I reluctantly pushed myself off of my bed and onto my feet. I paused before stepping out of my room and pushed my sleeve down to cover the cuts. I then slowly made my way down to the table.

In the center of the table there was a large bowl with pasta and on a plate next to it was some celery and some cucumber. I watched as my dad and Addie talked and served themselves big bowls of pasta loaded with cheese. I almost did the same until I remembered my weight gain. So instead, I took two slices of cucumber and two pieces of celery. I thought about putting a little pasta on my plate so my dad wouldn’t be suspicious, but then I realized he wouldn’t even notice, much less care, about my eating habits. So I crunched my vegetables, not enjoying the taste at all, but enjoying the thought of being skinny soon.

I finished my “dinner” and got up. My dad didn’t even notice. I dropped my dishes in the sink and they clattered noisily. I waited for my dad to get mad at me for being careless, but he didn’t. I sighed and retreated back to my room.

I changed into my pajamas and buried myself in my comforter. I was painfully hungry still, but I ignored it. It was only about 7 o’clock, but for some reason I was exhausted. I felt like I had been completely drained of energy. So I closed my eyes and relaxed and before I knew it I was asleep.

When I woke up, I could feel the hunger gnawing at my stomach and it hurt. But instead of wanting to rush downstairs to eat, I wanted to check my weight. Before doing so, I quickly used the bathroom, because the liquid inside of me would only raise the numbers. Closing my eyes I stepped up onto the scale. I prepared myself for the worst and then cautiously opened my eyes and peered down at the numbers. The number I saw was 133! That was a whole pound gone! Granted, I hadn’t eaten anything yet today, but it was still amazing! I leapt off of the scale and did a little victory dance beside it.

Afterwards, I went through the rest of my morning routine with a small smile on my lips the whole while. When I finished I thought about going down for breakfast, but then decided that it wouldn’t make my numbers lower if I did. So, I skipped breakfast and headed out to the car.

I shivered once I stepped out into the frigid air, pulling my coat tighter around me. I slid into the back seat and stuffed my hands into my pockets to keep them warm while I waited for my dad and Addie to finish their breakfast and join me in the car. I closed my eyes and almost drifted off when I heard them get in the car. I buckled my seat belt and rested my head against the window as my dad started the car and they talked. My head bumped against the cold surface of the window as we drove. Each bump hurt a little bit more than the last, but I didn’t sit up.

When we pulled into the school parking lot I dashed out of the car so fast that my dad couldn’t have said goodbye to me even if he wanted to, which he probably didn’t. I walked inside and went to my locker to grab my stuff.

In every class I was reprimanded for not doing my homework, but I didn’t care. Didn’t the teachers realize that homework wasn’t important to me? It didn’t even compare to the severity of my other problems. I wanted to tell them that, but I bit my lip to keep it in. I listened to them yell at me and I pretended to be sincere when I said I wouldn’t forget again, when, in fact, I planned on never doing my homework again. It was a waste of my time.

When the bell for lunch rang I almost groaned out loud. I had been dreading it all day; the cafeteria filled with delicious sights and scents, all of which were forbidden. I sat down in the cafeteria and sat on my hands. I tried not to look at any food, pretending to be mesmerized by the vulgar graffiti that covered my lunch table. When the lunch period was finally over I stood up and moved towards the exit. While walking I felt a little lightheaded, a little dizzy, but I paid no attention to it as I walked on, desperate to escape the cafeteria.

Just as I passed through the exit the hallway started to blur and I felt sick. The loud shouts of the other students sounded muffled and strange. My vision started to disappear, black closing in on me from every direction. I tried to call out for help, but I couldn’t find my breath. I tried to put my hand out against something that could support me, but I couldn’t find my strength. And then the world went black as I plunged toward the ground.