Marrying The Guy I Hate

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

"Maybe my love will come back someday

Only heaven knows.

Maybe our hearts will find their way

Only heaven knows.

And all I can do is hope and pray,

Cause heaven knows... "

This song kept randomly playing in my head as I absentmindedly stare at the guy close to me. His familiar brown eyes also locked into mine,

yet I could not read any emotion from his face.

Perhaps it is because there is really no emotion involved between the two of us at all.

The tune in my head started to deafen me from all other noises around.

It was all that I could hear.

"but tell me where do I start?

cause it's breaking my heart,

I don't wanna let him go..."

'how did it all end up like this?' I've been asking this question maybe a thousandth time now.

The answer never seemed clear to me.

I'd rather be content of not having any answer at all than to have something which seemed irrational for me.

Something I never dreamed of nor imagined.

The next thing I knew I was somewhere I don't belong to.

Something I don't even believe would happen to me.

Some would think that this is like a Cinderella story, that I am lucky and that I should be happy.

To me it is the opposite.

It felt all surreal that for a moment I thought it was a nightmare that maybe sooner or later I will be able to wake up.

Fairy tale they say.

Then why do I feel as if I'm trapped and abandoned into somewhere I never wanted to be?

I never had any options.

'Which path do you choose; the left where there is nothing right, or the right where there is nothing left?'

Figurative as it is, I've always thought that this could be the worst options one could ever go through when dealing with choices.

Yet I was reminded that having no choices at all is worse than what I thought was worst.

Could I have done something different would I have even the littlest possibility that even if just maybe I could still break free?

'What if...'

with just another second the sole question I had just a while ago was flooded with so many 'what if's'

Maybe it's just too late...

Now there's only one path left for me to go.

And it's either I walk towards it - even if it is against my will - or the people around me would be pushing me towards it.

Being able to gather the littlest hope left in me, I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer.

I was desperate as if it was the last breath I could ever have before my life comes to an end.

'Oh dear Lord, please wake me up. I promise to offer the rest of my life to you. I'll go to the convent and become a nun. Just don't let me be with someone I don't really love. Please. Wake me up.'