And the story ends..?

Chapter 4

I could not believe my eyes!! My throat went dry and I blinked rapidly to make sure I saw that in reality...

It's been exact six months, I didn't even see the journal from the day of my wedding! I kept it out of my sight behind my novels in the book shelf so that it remained out of my mind too. And now, here, it was peeping from my bag.

Swayam must have picked it up with other novels and shoved it in by mistake. I thought.

I was nervous now, I was shaking, I was not able to breathe and all I wanted to do was to jump from the plane rather than holding it in my hands right now.

The voices around me grew silent and my mind already began its 'blast from the past' episode. I didn't want to re-live those moments... I couldn't... I just couldn't.

He really did keep it by mistake, didn't he??

Clutching my temples with my palms, I buried my face into them. I pressed my fingers tightly on my eyes to keep them shut for few seconds. Exhaling a breath I accepted all the thoughts that were mentally troubling me and my spine got stiff. The realisation drew upon me. His confession came to my mind. Why Swayam!!!

I groaned out loud and abruptly got up from my seat, went to the washroom and locked it. Bracing myself with the help of the basin I looked into the small mirror. I looked sick!! So I turned the tap on and started splashing water on my face with force.

As if that would erase the memories and the hurt.

The lump in my throat grew to an unbearable level so I couldn't help the tears that fell down my cheeks. My head was pulsing due to the overflow of memories which happened by just looking at the journal. I rubbed my hands all over my face in frustration and took few seconds to accept whatever the hell happened in past few minutes.

I asked you to trust me Swayam!!

Exhaling a deep sigh I pat dry my face with a tissue and plastered my 'I am fine, thank you' look on my face and went back to my seat.

"You took quite a time beta, everything okay?" Sharma ji's wife part two asked and I nodded, thankfully she believed my plastered look. I picked the bag from the seat, settled myself and then took out the journal. I looked at the cover and traced my name written over it 'Kriya'. This was my journal where I buried my first love and the pain it caused me. It took all of my strength and my friend's support to overcome him, but I could see the efforts going in vain and my walls crippling down slowly. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it right now and being this helpless was eating me alive.

The cover title originally was VEER but on my wedding day Veer gave it to me when I was about to leave with Swayam. He just asked me to read it once and then wrote my name in vertical alignment with the letter R in his name. I didn't dare to open it, I didn't want to know what he wrote inside. It could be the thing that would just break my heart all over again or it could be the thing that I always wanted him to say but he didn't. Just holding it was making me feel anxious!!! Was I ready to take the risk now? The thought scared me to my core. I was over him... Yes I was... I closed my eyes tightly to calm myself.

No one talked about him with me after my wedding, we almost lost contact too but now a mere mention of his name caused disruption in my world. I had to make sure that it was over... I was over HIM!!! But right now I didn't have the strength so I put the journal in my bag again and sank further into my seat to sleep.

I wish to never open my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Swayam's POV