Feelings, Fantasies, and Other Thoughts on Life

Denial

Denial

I know that I'm a complete idiot
And I know that everyone else can see it
I don't quite understand it myself, after everything
Ever since I left I've been fine flying with my own wings
But lately, you keep creeping back into my mind and in the worst times, too
I become distracted, daydream, and think "why you?"
I long to send you a text, a simple "hey"
But I know that if I do, my heart will pay
What I did was for the best of us
We were like lightning and a tornado; always a fuss
Maybe you didn't do anything, honestly
At the time perhaps I was just mad, you know how I can be
One little thing sets me off and when I shut people out,
I shut people out.
But did I want to shut you out?
I honestly did; you were the worst and all I did was cry and pout
I began acting differently, lashing out on myself
But I deserve to treat me with wealth
And so should you
I know it's true
I wasn't an amazing person all the time, but I'm only human
But what you did to me was evil, and although I'm only assumin'
I know I wasn't the reason you were always around
But I cried at night and listened to my heart sound
It died a little when I realized it was gone
So why do you keep popping back up when I swore you to be gone
I want to invite you over, cry in your arms
We were best friends, even though you did me so much harm
So much reminds me of you
And the pain you caused, too
But hey, send me a quick text and I swear I'll reply
I might block you out but my heart's in denial