Mentally in love (Remington Leith)

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Sunshine, you need to get up at some point," Chris sighed, rubbing my back. Ashley was out at group therapy. Chris didn't have to go due to some personal reasons. It had been three days since Tyler went to talk to Remington. Emerson and Shy haven't visited me in a while. The only person who seems to want me around is Josh and I don't reciprocate those feelings.

I haven't spoken to anyone in those few days. I had to go to therapy, and I just sat there. I told her what happened between me and Rem, but nothing else. I just couldn't.

"You need to get up. You haven't eaten, showered, stretched your legs. You need to do something. And I want to share a song with you.." Chris trailed off. I turned my body towards him.

"You wrote another song?" I signed.

"No, but you need it," He smiled. He ran his fingers through my dirty hair, a smile placed on his lips.

"Okay, can I take a shower?" I signed.

"You don't have to ask for permission, can you also eat for me?" He asked. I shook my head no. I wasn't hungry.

"Even if it's just a smoothie?" He asked.

"I guess I'll accept a smoothie, but can I get water?" I asked. He nodded his head before throwing me one of his sweaters, and some of Ashley's leather pants. His sweater was a black and white sweater that looked like a dress on me. He also handed me some really cute black and white socks with his band's logo. I thanked him before grabbing my usual red towel. I grabbed a change of underwear from under the bed, hiding it in my towel before going into the bathroom, and closing the door.

I looked at my dirty clothes that I hadn't changed from in days.It was just a simple baigue sweater and some grey sweatpants with pockets. I stripped from them and sighed. I felt so unclean, but so heartbroken. I turned on the shower, and looked at my bare body. All the scars I had earned from the torture room, and all the marks I had made on myself. I looked like a voodoo doll. I sighed before getting into the shower.

I couldn't stand anymore. My body gave out. I sat down on the shower floor before curling up and sobbing. The tears mixed with the warm water. My eyes burned, begging me to stop filling them with salt. I had stopped crying for the past few days. I would just stare blankly at a wall. I would drink water and only get up to use the restroom. That was it. My mind was full of torturous things and abusive insults. I knew that I was never enough for Remington, and that this relationship would only ever end in heartbreak. It was his plan, make me fall in love, get Billie jealous, get Billie to date him. I was just a pawn. I was never enough and I will never be enough for anyone.

I reached for the soap, allowing myself to actually get clean. Even if I was a crying mess. I put the soap in my hair before rinsing it. After a few more tears, and sitting in the shower, I got up and turned the shower off.

I grabbed my towel and dried off. I sighed before stepping out. I began to get dressed. The mirror was foggy, so I couldn't see what I looked like. HIs sweater was see through and very comfortable. You could see my black bra and my porcelain skin. I threw on the jeans and socks before collecting my dirty clothes, and placed them on the counter. I brushed my teeth for the first time in a couple of days.

After I was done with that, I was lost in thought. Without thinking, I took my hand and began to write angry words.

'Fuck Him'

'Fuck You'

'Screw This'

And a lot more. I blinked, and realized what I had done. I sighed before wiping my damp finger on my towel. I turned off the lights and left the bathroom.