Mentally in love (Remington Leith)

Chapter Forty-Eight

I woke up to the sun shimmering through the window. I groaned and turned over.

It had been four days since I had last seen the boys. I had no one really come to visit me. But I was going to group therapy and had my regular sessions with Larisa. Nothing was going wrong. I got up and did my daily routine, letting my mind wander. I wondered if the boys would show up today or if they were avoiding me for a reason.

I threw on my clothes for the day. I was wearing a black knitted sweater with some black tights and pumps. I threw all my hair to my right shoulder. I smiled before heading out to the cafeteria.

I bit my lip as my mind began to drift off. I stopped in my tracks as my eyes lost focus. I blinked a few times, trying to clear my eyes. When they cleared, I was back in my prison cell. I flinched as I heard screams echo off the walls of a person getting tortured in another room. A green hue surrounded the building and the walls. The bars had rust on them and were a brown color. 

"No, no," I began to cry," Take me back."

I looked to the cell next door and saw Andy sitting there up against the wall.

"You're not gonna get out that way, you stupid bitch," He muttered.

"Andy.." I trailed off in shock.

"I'm not your friend, stop calling me by that name," He growled.

"Andy..I-What happened?" I asked.

"You act like you know me," He laughed, standing up and coming closer to the bars.

"Andy..we're friends. What? What did they do to you?" I asked.

"Friends? You think we're fucking friends , you murderous slut!" He boomed. I flinched at his harmful words and began to sink down against the wall.

"Take me back, take me back," I began to rock myself, covering my ears.

"We never were friends. Why would I be friends with you?" He taunted

"Leave me alone, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE," I screamed, closing my eyes. 

"Hey, hey, hey," I heard someone scream at me as they shaked my shoulders. I opened my eyes and saw Emerson. His eyes were watering as he looked at me. Concern was apparent in his eyes.

"I-I-I-," I cried, my hands were shaking as my teeth chattered from the anxiety I felt.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay. I need you to take a deep breath for me," He hugged me. I nodded my head as I was pulled into a hug. I began to sob even harder. I was so relieved to be back, but I was also full of grief at what Andy had said to me in that dream..hallucination? I know it wasn't real. Andy would never abuse me like that. But what if he didn't see me as a friend...why would he like someone like me?

"Take a deep breath," He smiled. I nodded my head and began to take a deep inhale. I continued to listen to his instructions until my breathing became more relaxed.

"How-How did you f-f-find me?" I asked him.

"You were sitting here screaming in the middle of the hallway. Everyone was here. You weren't responding to them, not even Chris. Larisa told me to take you to her after all this. The nurses are still here looking after you," He smiled. I looked around to see the nurses looking at me and some people still lingering.

"So now everyone thinks I'm a freak, cool," I sighed, wiping my face.

"No one thinks that of you," Emerson smiled.

"Thanks Em," I rubbed my hands together.

"Hey, listen. I didn't like seeing you like this. I really hope you're doing okay. You scare me, baby doll. But I need you to keep your head up, cause your crown is falling. And we can't have the queen losing her throne. The palace would fall," He smiled, grabbing my hands in his.

"Thanks Em. I'm sorry about all of this. I had a ptsd moment, but it was more like a dream. Like something clouded my memory. Andy was yelling at me and he was mad and was an asshole to me...he called me a slut.." I rubbed my arm in an uncomfortable manner.

"Let's get you to Larisa, yeah?" He asked. I nodded my head, untangling myself from him.

He stood up first, then offered me a hand. I smiled before taking it. Once I was on my feet, I walked with him to Larisa's office.

I knocked on her door and bit my lip. She's going to say that I'm not ready to leave and that my time is extended. I just had a setback, it was just a-

"Come in," She called.

"Hey..I heard you wanted me?" I asked.

"I'll be outside," Emerson whispered to me. I gave him a nod before closing the door.

"Hey, yes I wanted to see you. Did Emerson explain everything?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah....I think it was a hallucination or something. It wasn't like it was a real memory. I knew that I was still here, but I just wanted to go back here. I was trapped in my mind," I explained, taking a seat in the egg chair.

'So your PTSD has gotten worse?" She asked.

"I don't know. I've never had this happen before. I do get anxious and tense and I have nightmares that are real and are not real, but never like this," I reply.

"So yes, your PTSD has progressed. I will give you some more Sertraline. This should help lessen your symptoms. But what did you see in this hallucination?" She asked.

"I saw Andy...He was yelling at me that I was a murderous slut and that I was a stupid bitch all because I asked him if we were friends...I-I-I could hear the screams of people being tortured in the rooms that tey6 had. And the prison cell looked so real. I just..I felt like I was back in that prison hole. I started to contemplate if Sacred Minds was even a real place. If me and Andy were even friends," I began to cry, my hands were shaking.

"We're real. We're all here for you. Everything is okay. You just had an episode, We all have those sometimes. It's okay to have a relapse like this. It will get better," She smiled. I nodded my head as she handed me a tissue. She walked back to her desk, and began to write in her notes about what had happened today and smiled before standing up. I looked at her. She smiled, waving me over.

It clicked in my head that she was trying to let me out. I laughed at myself before heading to the door. The tears on my face were still evident, but I smiled anyways.

"You're getting better everyday," Larisa smiled.

"Thank you," I muttered before walking out the door. There In saw Emerson again.

"You ready to go, pumpkin?" He asked. I nodded my head. My tears were still pouring down, but I smiled anyways.