Mentally in love (Remington Leith)

Chapter Nine

"She slept in his bed, are you fucking kidding me?" I heard Remington yell. I rubbed my tired eyes. They still burned from my tears from last night.

"Shut up dude, you don't even know what happened," Josh seethed.

"SHE SLEPT IN HIS BED," Remington screamed. The sun shined brightly, kissing my skin. I blinked trying to tone down the brightness.

Josh was stepped in front of the door, Tyler was sitting on the bed shielding me. I wrapped my arms around Tyler, shielding myself from the argument. My head buried into the crook of his neck, my body shaking. Tyler unwrapped me from his body, so he could turn around before wrapping me back over him. He placed me into his lap, and began to rock me back and forth.

"I think you need to leave," Josh spoke very forceful. I could tell just by how his voice echoed around the room that he was angered.

"Rem, come on. You're scaring her..." I heard Larisa speak. My shaking became harder, it was almost hard to breathe.

"Hey, hey," Tyler moved me from his shoulder. He could see my chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. His eyes were full of worry. His eyes scanned mine looking for a sign,"You're okay. Hey, it's okay."

He began to take deep breaths and expected me to follow, so I did. My breathing relaxed after a few minutes. My body still shook with anxiety, poor Tyler holding my shaking body, his eyes full of panic. He hugged my closer, and ran his fingers through my hair.

There's nothing like waking up to arguing and full on panic attacks. I clung to his shoulder.

"Don't bother coming back you murderous slut," Remington called from the hallway.

I began to bite my lip to choke back a sob. I hear Remington scream down the hallway, and that was the end of that.

"Hey, he's gone. Everything is okay, hey, hey," Tyler cooed into my ear.

I just nodded my head, and pulled away, fixing my bangs back over my eyes, and smiled at the boys. My eyes were still full of tears, but I refused to let them fall.

"I'm okay," I signed to Tyler who just shook his head.

"You don't have to pretend around us," He smiled, and offered me his hand.

I put on a fake smile, and grabbed his hand.

"Not everyone is okay, and that's alright. It's definitely okay. Look at where we're at. We're all not okay. You're not alone," Tyler smiled and kissed my cheek. I nodded my head and watched as Josh flinched in jealousy. He shot Tyler a glare which made Tyler roll his eyes. I pretended not to notice.

"Hello guys, can I take El away from you? She has an appointment with Auburn," Larisa smiled from the door.

They nodded their heads before each giving me a hug, well...Josh gave me a kiss on the cheek which made me slightly uncomfortable considering the fact that I think he might like me.

"So, about this morning, Remington isn't in a good place right now.." Larisa trailed off. I just nodded my head behind her, looking at my feet watching as our feet began to sync up and the walls became more mashed together. The white began to look like flashes. How can you care for someone, but cause them so much pain?

As soon as we arrived to Auburn's office, Larisa gave me a small hug before leaving. I smiled at her before knocking on the door.

"Come in," Auburn's voice called out to me. I opened the brown wooden door. I felt like a child entering my mom's bedroom. I felt so small compared to Auburn.

It was like I was entering the courtroom of my trial. I almost felt like I was being left by my comforter to behind only to get judged for murder. It brought me back to that moment. It brought me back to being wrongfully accused for murder. A life sentence they said...

I pushed open the door to reveal a smiling Auburn. Her smile was warm and inviting, but it didn't help ease my nerves of meeting with her.

"Hello El, how are you?' She smiled at me, gesturing her hand to the seat that was empty. Her room was better than the other ones I have seen. It seemed to be bigger. It had a solid brown wooden desk with a succulent plant on her table. There was a hammock hanging in the room and a chair that was circular and connected to the ceiling. She had hanging globe lights. It was like a dream.

"I'm okay," I signed.

"I heard about what happened today, take a seat," She smiled at me.

"Can I sit in that chair?" I asked, pointing to the circular floating chair. My anxiety picked up as I looked at the floor, anxious for the answer.

"Of course, whatever makes you comfortable," She smiled at me. I nodded my head and a small smile tugged at my lips.

"So, what was this morning all about?" She asked. She wheeled her chair closer to me,"Don't be scared of me, please think of me as your best friend. That's what I want to be."

"Me and Rem had a moment in our room to where he complimented me and was really nice to me, and I got scared because I'm afraid of getting close to anyone, they always leave. I can't trust him fully. He's going to get better, and he's going to forget about me," I signed quickly as my eyes began to water,"So I upset him, and I hurt him. I ended up having a panic attack outside of Josh and Tyler's room trying to find the garden in the back. I ended up staying with them that night."

"And that's why you were in Tyler's room?" Auburn asked, grabbing a notebook.
"We argued over who would take the floor, and I'm scared that Josh liked me..." I rubbed the back of my neck out of uncomfortableness.

"And do you like him?" Auburn smiled.

"Well no...that's why I chose Tyler's bed," I explained.

"I understand, can we talk about your time inside of that psychiatric ward?" Auburn asked, handing me a tissue from her desk. I thanked her before nodding. I didn't want to, but maybe it would help me get out of her office faster.

"How did you end up there?"

"I was framed for the murder of my own family. They thought that because I had depression and other problems that I wasn't in the right state of mind. They thought it was a murder suicide," I continued,"they thought it was murder suicide, but it wasn't."

"What did they do?" She asked, taking notes.

"They tortured me. They used shock therapy, and they would cut into my skin and inject me with 'truth serum' and they would abuse me in many ways. I was starved, hit, sexually abused, anything and everything..." I stopped. I moved my hair back to reveal the scar from my eyes and the permanent scarring of my temples from the electric therapy. Tears flooding down my face.

"I think that's enough for today, thank you for being so honest with me, I will see you next week. You don't have to go to group therapy," Auburn smiled softly at me and handed me some more tissues before calling Larisa to come and get me.

I waited a few minutes, the tears never ending. Larisa walked in with Emerson who held a gift bag in his hands. I ran into his arms and began to sob. He held me closer to his body.

"Hey, hey," He rubbed my back.

"Take her to her room, please," Auburn pleaded. Larisa nodded to Emerson and stayed in the room. Emerson picked me up bridal style, and began to walk with me back to my shared room. My face was buried into his neck. My tears still flowing.

"You're so strong. I don't know your story, but I'm glad that you're here," Emerson kissed the top of my head.