Mentally in love (Remington Leith)

Chapter Thirty-Two (Trigger-Warning)

(I never do this, but hello. This chapter may be hard for some people. It deals with detailed descriptions of Suicide, and overdose. If you are easily triggered by these things, please turn away. If anyone needs to talk, I am always here to talk to. I'll leave the suicide hotline number at the end of the chapter. Enjoy the story, and be safe. Thank you.)

Ambulance sirens and screams echoed around my head. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to...

"She's losing oxygen, and fast. We need to get her to the hospital, now!" the paramedic yelled at her coworkers. They nodded and hoisted Billie's body on the gurney. All of us stood in the hallway. Tears fell from my eyes as I watched her almost lifeless body get rolled away. Her eyes were moving at a rapid pace like they were rolling back into her head.

And with her last awoken breath, she whispered the words, "I'm so sorry."

"I don't think you need to see this," Larisa pushed us back to the room. It was Eleven O'clock at night. We were awoken by the sirens, and this caused everyone to run to the noise.

My blood ran cold as she whispered those words to me. She was pushed too far. She tried to take her life, and we wouldn't know if she would be okay because we were stuck here.

"But...you guys do need to see this," Larisa handed us a letter. The letter was addressed to the friend group and her own friends...one of them being the boy who hurt me.

I still haven't opened the letter, though it was still in my hands. I have been too heartbroken and scared to even read it. I never meant for her to do this. She was just a scared girl. She was just as broken as us here. She dealt with the same problems we all did.

"We killed her," I cried to Remington. There in the room stood Tyler, Josh, Remington, Chris, and Ash.

"No baby, we didn't do anything. She just felt alone. She was misunderstood...It was no one's fault. We didn't know this would happen." Remington bent down to my level. I was sitting on the bed, everyone else was standing. We would later find out that she stopped taking her pills. This caused her to act violent and hostile to everyone. We didn't know that she had been planning this for a while. She took thirteen pills...

Tyler was pacing back and forth, his thumb in his mouth, biting his nails. Josh had his drumsticks and was twirling them in his hand. He seemed to be lost in thought. Chris was just standing there, as his hands were wrapped around a crying Ash. His face was stone cold as he rubbed her back and whispered sweet nothings into her ears. Remington was sitting in front of me. His thumbs rubbed smooth circles onto my hands. His eyes were darker than usual, but they held pain. I knew he was putting on a brave face for me and the rest of our sorry crew, but deep down we were all worried and sorry for Billie.

"Should we read her letter?" Tyler asked, causing everyone but Ash to look at him.

"I don't want to. I'm not ready yet...I just can't. What if she's dead?" I cried.

"She's not dead. She's one strong girl. She's going to be just fine," Remington smiled at me. I could see it in his eyes that he was unsure of the words he spoke.

"We can't keep blaming ourselves. Yes, it hurts and it sucks. But we know she'll be okay. She can't die. She won't die. She is strong. We have all thought about taking our lives. But guess what, we're still here, so she's still here. I know she is. I have a feeling. We can't keep crying over someone who's not dead. She isn't dead...she's not dead, she can't be," Josh fell to the floor, sobbing.

"She just has wounds of regret. But I forgave her a long time ago. None of us talked to her during breakfast. She feels bad. We made her feel worse. Don't tell me it's not our fault," I screamed, standing up, dropping the letter on the bed. It had to be our fault.