On My Way To The Love Of My Life

Chapter 16

I open the door and see Kyle standing by the kitchen "Hey" I mutter and he turns around "Hello" he greets me formal and cold "Where's Leila" I ask "She was upset last night and went home with Adi" I walk towards him trying to touch him but he moves away "You left me last night to go to him" he was upset "He was drunk and making a scene what was I suppose to do" he steps forward "You were suppose to tell him no that you're going to stay with me" "he raises his voice I try to get close to him but he's blocking me. " Kyle please don't... don't do this don't " he doesn't make eye contact with me" I think you should go back to him and pretend as if none of this happened. " Tears started forming. " Is that what you want, for me to leave? " I ask hoping for him to say that he doesn't want me to go anywhere and that he deeply cares for me. " He needs you more than I do. " His words felt like a sword through my heart. I ran upstairs  locking the door behind me why was his words hurting me so much we weren't in a relationship I started packing. I got my bags and send a text to Leila telling her I was going to Nick's and she shouldn't worry but enjoy her day with Adi. I was about to leave when I felt his presence "I wanted you to pick me, I wanted it to be me, but no matter how hard I try it'll always be him" I didn't turn around because I didn't want to face him I just left.

"You're back" he says "You sound surprised?" I question him "For a moment I doubted Kyle's intentions with you considering I fucked his girl three years ago. I thought he wanted to get back at me by using you but I'm so grateful that he's my best friend" I look at him confused "I asked Kyle to invite you to stay with him so that I knew you were safe he told me everything your location what you were doing" he comes in for a hug "I missed you" I hug him back "I got to go I'll see you tonight "

"None of it was real" he looks up at me confused "You fucking never cared about me never liked me.... I actually believed that....i thought that you.... I was so stupid" he stands up rushing towards me i was breathing heavily "It was real Ava and it still is I love you I wanted to help him but I couldn't that's why I didn't invite him to your party he doesn't deserve you Ava I do" I wanted to believe his words I really did but I couldn't. What did I do to deserve all of this I stormed out of that apartment and went back home.
Nick's home
He was asleep so I took out a pen and paper and started writing
Do you think I can have one more kiss I'll find closure on your lips and then I'll go
Maybe also one more breakfast, one more lunch and one more dinner I'll be full and happy and then we can part
but in between meals we can lay in bed one more time.
One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinetly as I rest my head on your chest.
My hope is if we add up the one more's they will equal a lifetime and I'll never have to get to the part where I let you go.
But that's not real is it?
There are no more "one more's"
I met you when everything was new and exciting and the possibilities of the world seemed endless
And they still are for you,for me but not for us
Somewhere between now and then we didn't just grow apart we grew up.
When something breaks if the pieces are large enough you can fix it
Unfortunately sometimes things don't break they shatter
But when you let the light in
Shattered glass will glitter
And in those moments
When the pieces of what we were catch the sun
I'll remember just how beautiful we were
Just how beautiful it'll always be Because it was us and we were magic

Forever

As I finished writing a tear rolled down my cheek and I finally made peace I carefully placed the letter on his cupboard where that awful picture of me was and kissed him on his forehead for the last time I took my bags and left.
"So you really leaving" Kisha asked me when we were at the airport "Yeah looks like I am, I never got the chance to thank you for everything" she smiled "Gurll there's no need for that i gottt you" I laugh. Over a short period of time I got so attached to her that it was hard to say goodbye "Tell Hakeem I'll miss him okay" I cry. I boarded the plane and I left

Leila decided to stay with Adi and I was so happy for her. I remembered telling Kyle that I thought Tessa was weak for staying with him despite everything he has done to her but I understand, I understand why she stayed because I wanted to, more than anything. I wanted to stay with Nick but my life is in south africa I made a lot of mistakes and I had a lot of explaining to do to my parents.