Distance // Ashton Irwin

22. Alone

*2 weeks later*

Cleo had left, the boys had left and here I was, bored out of my brains and lonely.

The last time I seen Cleo was a week ago, it was sad to see her go but it wasn't like I was going to stop her from going back when I knew she was happy.

The boys had left a few days after Cleo and surprinsingly, Ashton and I hadn't talked much since he took me out for dinner.

Since he had left I had tried to call him twice but all I got was "sorry I'm busy."

Things just didn't seem right.

I guess I had been expecting us to be a little closer than we were before but if anything we had drifted apart a little bit and I was confused.. Like really, REALLY confused.

Since I was once again left alone, I was back to working long hours.

________________________________________

It was a Tuesday morning and this morning I had to call into work sick. I hadn't been physically sick but I could barely move and I didn't want to move. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and think about how shit my life was and how the boy who I had fallen hard for, hadn't even made an effort to contact me since he had left.

It made me think long and hard about everything that had happened. Did we really have something real or was he just saying that? I was so confused and sick and tired of my thoughts that I had decided to sleep for the entire day.

I honestly couldn't care less about anything. I couldn't care about eating, I couldn't care about texting anyone back unless it was Cleo or Ashton and all I wanted was to be left alone.

I remember waking up and my phone was buzzing. As I lifted up my head, I reached for my phone before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Holly! Have you checked your twitter? Have you even checked your DMs, Iv been trying to get in contact with you for hours!"

Shouted Cleo.

I moaned.

"Mm yeah what is it?

I asked still half asleep.

"Ashton.. umm... Cc-Cleo, I don't know how to tell you this bbb-but... I think he's got someone.." Cleo stuttered.

And at that very moment I felt like I was going to explode. Why did I care so much if he had found someone else? Why did it hurt so much!? Why!!!?
BECAUSE I HAD FALLEN FOR HIM.

"FUCK THIS." I yelled angrily.

"Holly? I'm sorry, I umm shouldn't have told you like this.. look... maybe you should talk to him about it?"

"Cleo. It's fine, I just need to go." I hung up the phone and threw my phone at the wall. "I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM" I screamed. Afterall that he had said to me and this had to happen?

After a few minutes of staring at odd looking objects in my room, I finally picked up my half smashed phone and dialled Luke's number.

"Hello?"

He answered.

"Hi." I replied.

"Holly! Uh... you sound umm pissed.. what did Cleo tell you?" He asked.

"Cleo said that Ashton has someone... is this true?" I asked.

Luke sighed. "Yes and no. I don't actually know Holly. All I know is she came into our hotel last night and Calum called up Cleo and told her, I knew that it would be a matter of minutes before she would tell you. I wanted to tell you Holly but I didn't want to hurt you. I don't know what's going through Ashton's head right now but his feelings for you are real, trust me they are it's just.. he's an idiot for doing this to you and I know you probably feel awful right now." He finished.

"Luke?"

"Yes Holly?"

"Thankyou."

"It's okay Holly" he replied.

I hung up the phone and slammed my head into my pillow. 'So what now?'

Was I ever going to be able to face Ashton again without feeling like bursting into a million tears? Honestly I just didn't know.

I didn't know how to feel and I didn't know how to act.