,*'jshk σиɛƨнσтƨ'*,

ИΛŦSƱĤĪҠᎾ ĤYƱƱƓΛ (ĤΛИΛĤΛҠĪ)

i peeped from the corner of the hallway, trying to get a glimpse of natsuhiko-senpai. i have had the biggest crush on him since we met in my second year of middle school. he helped me with broadcasting and after spending so much time with him in the small room, i developed a crush.

"sakuraaa!" natsuhiko-senpai whined "look at meee!"

a hopeless crush.

my eyes darkened and i leaned against the wall, looking down at the floor as i continued to hear the natsuhiko-senpai's voice calling out for her. i couldn't lose hope. i knew about natsuhiko-senpai's crush on sakura-san but i have always tried to ignore it. i guess i cant really do that anymore. they've been getting closer and closer. i clenched my shirt where my heart was. i could feel it getting tighter and tighter until it was almost suffocating. it twisted in jealousy and i could feel it threatening to break into a million pieces. if only i was in the broadcasting room. maybe natsuhiko-senpai would fall for me instead. i sighed, dropping to the floor. who am i kidding? he would still like nanamine -san and i would just get hurt even more than right now.

i stood up, eyes flaming with determination as i clenched my fist. i decided to confess the very next day. i didnt know how long i had before i would begin choking up hyacinths. (a flower that represents jealousy.) i had to give it a try.

~~

i fidgeted with my fingers. panic slowly overtaking me. i paced back and forth, eyes locked to my watch. i had given him the letter that morning to meet me below the confession tree at 5pm but it had been half an hour and no sign of him.

"(l/n)-san, why did you want to meet me here?" natsuhiko-senpai asked, his hands in his pockets as he looked down at me.

"i-i like you, senpai!" i shouted out, looking up at his face. "i've liked you since mi-"

"stop" i froze and looked up at him. "i know you've been watching me, just stop. its creepy. i dont like you and i never will. i love another girl so just drop it."

my feet was rooted to the ground as i watched him walk away, i could feel my heart shattering into a billion pieces as i watched the person i liked-no-loved disappear into the school building.

i started coughing, beautiful maroon blood and petals of yellow coming out from my body. i tried to catch my breath but failed as i continued coughing petals of yellow. i couldnt stop myself from thinking about all the memories i had with natsuhiko-senpai. i thought about the times we would laugh together. i wanted to keep thinking about the good times but failed as images of sakura flashed across my mind. i thought about him fawning and obsessing over her. my coughing became worse. i started coughing out orange lillies (hatred), carrion flowers (smells like death), penutia flowers (resentment and anger) and more hyacinths. a feeling of dread washed over me as i made a run for someone. anyone.

i could feel my body getting frailer and slower as i continued to sprint through the halls, coughing up flowers. my throat was closing up with all the flowers and my heart felt like it was wilting. i clutched my neck, my eyes widening in horror as i tripped and fell face-first onto the concrete floor.

"(l/n)-san?" a female voice called.

i looked up, my vision blurring as i tried to make out the face in front of me.

"n-nanamine-senpai?" i choked out before coughing more hyacinths and blacking out.

~~

"mom?" my eyes fluttered open. a blank look plastered on my face as i pushed myself to sit up the hospital bed.

"(y/n), are you feeling better? the doctor performed the surgery after you were brought here by your friends," she said, holding by hand in hers.

"who?"

"they said they were nanamine and natsuhiko."

for some strange reason, i didnt feel anything. no sadness. no jealousy. not even gratefulness. yet why does my heart still ache?

+*%*^%+
⑦0⑨ ᏯᎾŔDS

aNgsT