What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 33

James decided that we didn't have to hang out last night, considering I was in pretty bad shape. I feel a little better today since I got most of it off my chest after talking to him last night. He still doesn't know what Caden and I do for money, and I don't want him to ever find out. I'm just glad that today is Saturday and we perform tonight. It gives me something else to think about. But after the result show tomorrow I need to look for places to work. The boys and I had to wake up at 6am this morning for sound check and dress rehearsal. We just got to the theater and the boys were still trying to fully wake up. None of us bothered to even do our hair or put clothes on, we just got out of bed, threw some sweatpants on, and called it good. We went through our performance on stage, and I was actually impressed. Even though the choreography was minimal, the staging was great. After rehearsal, we went back to the house to chill for a few hours before the show. Feeling a little overwhelmed with everything, I just needed to get away from everyone, so I went down to the game room and made myself comfortable on the couch. There was an unfamiliar show playing on the TV, so I just stared at the ceiling. "Hey." I looked and seen Casey walking towards the couch. "Hey." I sat up and made room for him on the couch. "What are you doing down here by yourself?" He looked around the room then back at me. "Just...trying to stay focused." It was kind of true. He just nodded his head then asked, "are you ok?" He raised his eyebrows and waited for my answer. "Mmm...not really. Things back home with Caden are difficult. I wish there was a way he could just be here." I said vaguely. "Well why can't he?" He asked. "Can't afford it." I stated simply. Casey opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then closed it again. Neither of us said anything for a couple seconds until he broke the silence. "Are we ok?" It was a random question. "What do you mean?" I looked at him confused. "I don't know. I just feel like there's something you're not telling me." He paused. "Aria, if you just wanna be friends that's fine, but I need you to tell me." He said, and he looked a little nervous for my answer. "That's—" I stopped. I was going to say that's ridiculous because I do like him, but things with James are complicated. Hell, my entire life is complicated right now. On one hand, I have all this bullshit that's happening back home, then I'm torn between my emotions for two different guys. Guys that I shouldn't even have feelings for to begin with, and I have no clue what to do. "It's...complicated." I decided honesty was the best and only option I had right now. "Ok, well can you explain? Because we were just fine a few days ago." He was visibly upset. "Yes, we were. And I thought I knew what I wanted, but the truth is I don't. I don't know anything right now. And it wasn't anything you did, it's just with me being here, and my brother struggling back home, I feel like I let him down...I just have to figure things out before I think about relationships." I sighed. "Ok. I can respect that." He said after a couple seconds of deliberation. He still looked hurt, but not as bad now that I told him just a fraction of the truth. "I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower. Get ready for the show and everything." He stood up and looked down at me. "Can I have a hug?" I asked sheepishly before he could leave. "Of course." He chuckled and grabbed my hand to pull me into him. My arms were pressed against his chest and his hands were resting between my shoulder blades. His thumb was rubbing mindlessly over my back. It was nice. There was no pressure to kiss or do anything more than just hug. After a few minutes, I was the first to pull away. "You should go get ready." I said to him. He nodded his head and released me. "You gonna be ok?" He asked. "Yeah I'll be fine. I'll be upstairs in a few minutes, I just need to be alone for a little bit longer." I assured him. He nodded and went upstairs. I sat down on the couch for a few more minutes, then forced myself to get up. We have to be at the theater at 6pm for hair and make up, then the show starts at 8pm. That's four hours from now. As I walked upstairs, I could feel my nerves getting more prominent as the weight of the situation became more clear. No matter what's happening back home, I still wanted this to work out. I want to be a singer. I want to perform all over the world with these eight boys.

"Stereo Kicks, you're up." The stage hand said. We all got handed our mics then waited patiently behind the doors. We heard Louis introduce us, the crowd erupt into cheers, then the double doors opened and we stepped on stage. All the people, the lights, the cameras, it was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It was amazing, and the fact that it was with my new best friends made it even better. Finally, our music began playing and we began singing.

IT'S SHORT AND KINDA CRAPPY I KNOW, BUT I HAD MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK FOR THIS CHAPTER. ANYWAY, HOPE YOU ENJOYED. AS ALWAYS, COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK/ WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HAPPEN. I'VE NOTICED A FEW OF YOU THINK ARIA AND BARCLAY SHOULD BECOME CLOSER. WE'LL SEE ;) DON'T FORGET TO VOTE LOVELIES! ♡