What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 21

Today's the day. We perform for Louis and Tulisa today and they will decide if we make it through to the live shows. When I woke up, there was a sort of heaviness to me that I haven't felt before. My mind was racing, thinking about everything from my mom and brother, to Casey and James, and of course our performance today. I was nervous, scared, conflicted, and confused about everything. "Hey Aria. You ready for today?" Charlie greeted as he walked into the bedroom with a smile plastered on his face. I was still sitting in bed scrolling through Twitter trying to keep my mind off things. "Hey Charlie. Yeah I'm ready. I just hope the rest of the boys are too." I smiled weakly. "I think we'll be fine. Hey, do you by chance happen to know what's wrong with James?" He looked up at me from the floor. "What do you mean?" I stopped looking at my phone to look at him. "I mean he's acting weird. He's not as funny and happy as he usually is." He said. I knew why he was upset, and I didn't think choosing Casey would effect him this much. I can't tell Charlie the truth though. "No. I don't have a clue. Hopefully whatever's wrong doesn't effect his performance though." I lied and looked at my phone again to hide the guilt. "Speaking of performance, Tom wanted me to come get you so we could practice one more time." He said. "We're all meeting in the backyard where we played football, in five minutes. So I recommend you get dressed." He chuckled and left the room. I grudgingly crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. After that was done, I dressed in a pair of rather short dark jean shorts and a sheer white tanktop with a bedazzled collar, then I made my way to the backyard. When I arrived, all the guys except James were there. I approached the circle and noticed Casey smiling at me. I watched as his eyes roamed over my body while he licked his lips. I couldn't help but stifle a small giggle. When I finally stood beside Barlcay and Reece, Tom looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Damn Aria, where are the rest of your shorts?" He asked looking at my legs. I felt oddly uncomfortable having all the guys staring at me, I mean, atleast my ass isn't hanging out the back. "Hey guys, sorry I'm late." James interrupted, and the boys finally looked away. James stood on the other side of the circle next to Tom and Chris. Literally as far away from me as he could be. Suddenly Tom began playing his guitar and we began practicing. Not once throughout the entire time we practiced, did James even look at me or acknowledge me. He was being ridiculous. Finally, when we decided we were performance ready, the boys started walking back towards the house. "Hey." I jogged and caught up to James, grabbing his arm and turning him towards me. "James I know you're upset-" I started. "I'm not upset. There's no reason for me to be upset. We already decided we were just friends." He cut me off and stared at the ocean in the distance. I sighed. "Please don't." I said, barely audible. "Don't what?" He snapped. "Don't pretend you're ok when you're not!" I yelled, then lowered my voice. "I know I hurt you and I promise that was never my intention. I just...you're my best friend. I can't do this without you. You're the only person I can talk to and trust wholeheartedly." I pleaded. "Yeah, well it looks like Casey is more than willing to listen to your problems." He  looked down at the dirt and began kicking it lightly with the tip of his shoe. "I don't.....I can't talk to Casey like I can talk to you." My voice was just above a whisper. For the first time today, he finally looked up at me. "So why are you with him?" His voice was full of confusion. "I...I don't know. He makes me happy. When I'm around him, I forget about everything back home. He makes me feel light and care free. And with everything going on, I need that right now." I told him. That was the first time I actually thought about my feelings for Casey. I wanted to ignore them and pretend they weren't there. But they are. James just looked at me. He didn't look sad or upset. It looked like he finally understood. "Ok. I just hope he doesn't hurt you." He grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a hug. "Me too." I whispered. After a few moments of hugging he pulled back and looked down at me. "Care for a game of FIFA before we sing for Louis and Tulisa?" He smiled. I nodded my head and smiled back. We made our way to the house and that heaviness I felt this morning was gone. I had James, my best friend back and I also had Casey, my...I'm not quite sure what he is just yet. I should figure that out.

"Hello guys, you feeling ready?" Louis asked us and we shook our heads yes. The boys and I are currently standing in front of Louis and Tulisa getting ready to sing. My nerves are under control, for the most part. We've practiced this song so much there's no way we could mess it up. "And what song are you gonna sing for us?" Louis looked at us. "We're gonna sing Mirrors by Justin Timberlake." Jake answered. "Oh great song. Love it." Louis replied and waited for us to start. Tom began strumming his guitar and then started singing. "Aren't you something, to admire...."

"How do you guys feel? I think we did great. They looked like they enjoyed it." Chris said once we were back in our room. "I think we smashed it." Casey said and sat next to me on James and Jakes bed. I nodded my head in agreement and pulled out my phone to text Caden.

Me: Hey Caden, we just got done performing. I think it went well, but I'll let you know what happens. Love you.

I then returned my attention to the conversation the boys were having. They were talking about the girls from Only The Young. "Yeah she's hot, but she thinks she's too good for anyone." Casey said. "Hell, they're both hot but I could never date either one because of their personalities." James added. I just sat and listened to them talk about what qualities they looked for in a girl. Of course they mainly looked for big boobs, a big butt, and a flat stomach. "You guys are so shallow." I chuckled to hide my annoyance. "Whatever, like you don't want your boyfriend to have a big dick, or abs." Barclay rebutted. "Actually no. Abs would be no fun to cuddle with, and the size of their dick doesn't really concern me." I said, leaving out the fact that I was still a virgin and the last thing I cared about was dick size. "Okay, what are the top three things you look for in a guy?" Tom asked me. "Physically, they need to have nice eyes, a nice smile and good hair. Personality wise, they need to have a good sense of humor, they need to be honest and good at communicating." I stated. "So let me ask you something, based on all that, if you could date any one of us who would it be?" Tom smirked. Oh god. "Uuhh.." I looked around at all the guys and my eyes landed on Casey, who was of course looking at me and smiling like an idiot. "Based on that, I would say Casey." I said honestly. The boys 'oooed' and 'aaawwed' and clapped Casey on the shoulders. I just rolled my eyes and laughed. "Alright, who wants some luch? I'll cook." I said trying to change the subject. "Oh hell yes!!" James, Tom, and Jake all said and quickly stood up. The other boys looked at them like they missed something. "Aria is a beast at cooking." Jake told them. I laughed, and we all headed to the kitchen so I could cook us lunch.

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