What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 47

The boys and I got home a couple minutes ago. It's 2am. We have our last normal day of rehearsals tomorrow before three days of 6am wake up calls. "Will I get in trouble if I crash here?" Caden whispered from my door way. "Uuhh, I don't think so. Just ask one of the guys if you can share a bed with them for the night." I suggested. "You can bunk with me." I instantly knew the voice belonged to James. "Sweet, thanks bro." Caden turned and smiled gratefully at him. James was now in my door way beside Caden. "I uh, I just came to say goodnight." James looked at me. "Oh...right. I'll leave you guys." Caden said, then clapped James on the shoulder and left. James quietly walked in my room and shut the door behind him. "You shouldn't be in here. One of the girls could wake up and see something they shouldn't." I whispered and looked around at the girls who seemed to be sound asleep. "Quit worrying. They won't wake up." He said as he grabbed my hips and gently pushed me onto my bed. "James..." I whispered as he placed himself between my legs, our faces directly lined up. "What?" He whispered before he placed a small kiss on my neck. Oh my god. "We can't. Not right now." I placed my hands on his shoulders and held him there so he couldn't kiss me again. If he did, I don't know if I would be able to say no. "You're right." He sighed and got off of me. I suddenly felt the need to pull him back on top of me, like one of my limbs had just been cut off and I desperately needed it. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist. He returned the gesture and we held each other for as long as we could before I felt my eyelids drooping from tiredness. I pulled away first, and looked up at him. "Goodnight James." I whispered and stood on my tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Goodnight love." He whispered as he gently placed a stray piece of hair behind my ear. My body went limp hearing him call me 'love.' That was the first time anyone has called me that and I'm pretty sure I am no longer a solid human being, but instead I'm a puddle of emotions because of my melted heart. I watched as he turned and walked the four feet from my bedroom to his.

"Aria, get up." I was nudged awake by Tom. "What? Are we late?" I mumbled as I opened my eyes and got into a sitting position. "No. We're not late. It's the tabloids. They just released their first story about one of us." He looked really upset. Oh god. It's me. The paparazzi must have gotten pictures of me either entering or leaving the strip club and put two and two together. Shit. "Aria, it's James. They got some information from someone who used to be close to him and they published some really personal stuff. I think you should talk to him. He's at the park." Tom said. I quickly stood up and threw a pair of sweatpants over my shorts and a jacket over my tank top and ran over to the park. It wasn't hard to find him. He was one of the only people here. I didn't even know what time it was, or what the tabloid said. I just knew that James needed me so I came running. When he looked up and seen me, he just stared and then sat down on one of the benches. I slowly walked towards the bench and sat down next to him. I didn't know what to say, so I just grabbed his hand and held it. I knew he would talk about it when he was ready and there was no point in me prying. I don't know how long we sat there holding hands in silence, but it was long enough that my toes were now frozen in my shoes, and I could feel my nose beginning to run, but I didn't complain. Eventually, he broke the silence. "I was a dumb kid." He said and squeezed my hand more tightly. I just looked at him and waited for him to continue. "A couple years ago, I met this girl online and we were talking for a while. We ended up dating for about a month, and by that point we had already had sex. Well, on our one month anniversary, she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I was completely shocked. I mean, there was no way I was ready to be a dad. I was only sixteen years old at the time." He admitted, and by this time, he had tears rolling down his cheeks. My heart was breaking for him. "I told my mom and she said we needed to go to the clinic to get a proper test taken. The girls mom agreed, so we all went one day, and sure enough, it came out positive." He sniffled. "Our parents agreed that it was our decision to make, but they thought it would be best for her to get an abortion. Especially at our age, and I agreed with them. Claire on the other hand wasn't so easily persuaded. She said she didn't know what she wanted to do. She didn't know what the right thing to do was. I was young, and scared, and I knew what I wanted. So I begged her to get an abortion. I told her that if she had the kid it would ruin both of our lives..." He trailed off. "She ended up getting the abortion. When I found out, I was so relieved. But her last words to me were: 'you just made me kill my baby.'" He let out a small wail and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "James." I whispered as I softly grabbed his face and turned it so he was looking at me. "You didn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. If she honestly wanted to keep that baby, she would have, and it wouldn't have mattered what you, or anyone else said. It was her decision. You can't beat yourself up over this. You never should have had to go through that. And let me tell you something. Any boy that was, is, or will be in the same position is going to react the same way. You don't have to be ashamed." I assured him. He looked at me and placed his hand over mine. He wasn't crying anymore. We both just sat there staring at each other for a few minutes before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It was a soft, tender kiss, full of compassion, and it caused my stomach to fill with butterflies. He pulled away and passionately stared at me before saying, "I love you, Aria."