What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 55

I spent the rest of the night mindlessly dancing back at my original pole, trying to wrap my head around everything that had just happened. The only thing I could think about was the fact that I should have gone after James, but instead, I stayed because Caden told me to. Of course, Caden wasn't thinking about James in that moment, he was thinking about the thousands of dollars we still had to pay for our mothers medical bills. I just...I'm really tired of this. All of it. I never should have come here.

***

When the cab pulled up outside the house at 4:10am I took a deep breath and silently prayed that the boys were asleep. Of course, that was too much to ask for. I quietly made my way upstairs to my bedroom. All the bedroom doors were closed so I assumed that everyone was asleep. That is, until I opened my bedroom door and seen seven guys spread randomly throughout my bedroom. Chris, Casey, Barclay, Jake, Tom, Caden, and James were all sitting aroung the room whispering to each other. All conversation stopped when I walked in. Their gazes immediately fell on me and I had half a mind to just turn around and walk out of the room. I really didn't want to do this right now, but the sooner the better I suppose. So, I took my coat and shoes off, and went over to my dresser where I grabbed a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top. I quickly took my pants and shirt off, and slipped into my pajamas. I felt no sense of awkwardness or discomfort anymore. I mean, they did just see me completely topless dancing on a pole. Once I was changed, I turned and looked at all of them before I said anything. "About two months ago, Caden and I found out that our mother has Alzheimers. When I found out, I just...I didn't handle it well. The day we found out, was the day I decided to come here and audition for the show. I knew we would eventually need the money, since our mother is now in a nursing home. Of course, when I got here I hadn't planned on getting put into a group with eight other people. After we were formed, I did the math and then I knew that even if we did win, my portion of the prize money wouldn't be enough to pay for our moms medical bills. I was in constant communication with Caden after judges houses, and that's when things started getting bad back home. Caden was now responsible for everything back home. The house payment, utilities, food, visiting our mom, paying for her meds, everything. When he told me how much he was struggling, I knew that I had to do something. After all, I was the one who was supposed to stay and take care of everything, not leave and force my little brother to do everything." All the boys were looking at me intently, like they were hanging on every word I said. "You see, something you guys need to understand is that, things were bad for us long before our mom was actually diagnosed. She kept getting fired from her jobs because she simply forgot to go. Caden had to drop out of high school, and I had to stop going to college. Our dad was never part of the picture, so when we recieved an eviction notice, Caden and I knew we needed to make some fast money. That's when I...I became a stripper, and Caden..." I trailed off. "I became a drug dealer." Caden finished. I heard the guys shuffle uncomfortably at our words. I couldn't blame them, we're not who they thought we were. "After a while we got the bills caught up and were able to quit that life style." I said, bringing their attention back to me. "That is, until our mom was diagnosed and we had to go back." I sighed. I felt like none of this was coming out the way I wanted it to. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Casey asked. "I didn't want to tell you guys because I didn't want you to think differently of me. I'm still the same girl. I just happen to have an absolutely degrading job that if I could, I would quit in a second." I quickly looked over at James, who hasn't even looked at me all night. He was here though, so that's a start. "So is that it? Do we know everything now?" Tom asked. I shook my head no. If I thought telling them about that was hard, just wait until they find out I'm not staying. I sighed before beginning. "I don't know how long we're going to be in this competition, but..." I stopped and looked at Caden. He obviously knew what I was about to say. Without warning, I turned and left the room. About two minutes later I returned with a sleepy Reece and a confused Charlie. "Aria, what's going on? Why did you wake us up?" Charlie moaned as he shuffled over to sit on the bed next to Chris. "Charlie, Reece, this is important and I thought you two would want to be here when I told everyone." I said, looking from face to face. Still, the only guy not looking at me is James. "As I was saying, I don't know how long we'll be in this competition, but you guys deserve to know that once we're eliminated, I will be returning to the United States." At that, James' head snapped up and he looked right at me. "No." He said, and stood up. He was standing directly in front of me. "Aria, you promised. You said that you would move your mom here so that we could be together. You promised." He said, his voice shaking on the last sentence. "James I--" "NO!" He yelled. "James calm down!" Jake whispered. "Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down? I just found out that not only is the girl I love a stripper, but she plans on moving back to America when this is all over!" He was still shouting. "James I'm sor-" "Don't. Don't say you're sorry. How long have you known that you were going to move back?" He was calming down. I just stared at him. "You never planned on moving here did you?" He let out a small chuckle. "Jesus Christ. I am such an idiot." He rubbed his hand through his hair and looked at me in disgust and disappointment. "Did you ever love me? Or was everything you ever said just a lie?" He asked me. "James, I love you more than anything. Present tense. I didn't tell you because I...didn't want to hurt you." I sighed. "It was always gonna hurt Aria." He whispered before walking out of the room.