What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 50

Saturday. Show day. I'm currently only functioning because of Monsters and 5 hour energies. I swear to god, if I don't sleep soon I might pass out on stage tonight. The boys just woke up for the day. We have dress rehearsal in an hour and then we have a few hours to do nothing. I will be spending that time sleeping. "You look like shit." I looked up and seen Tom making his way into my room. "Thanks." I mumbled as I grabbed my purse from the floor and pulled out another energy drink. "You ok?" Tom looked at me. "I'm fine. Just a little sleep deprived." I said before standing up and throwing on a pair of leggings and a random shirt. I was too tired to even care that I just changed my clothes in front of Tom. "Alright. By the way, Kirsten wanted to know if you could have that girls night soon?" He asked. "What girls night? Oh, nevermind. I'll um, I'll text her and the other girls later to see if we can come up with a day." I sighed as I pulled on my boots. All these energy drinks are giving me a headache.

Throughout dress rehearsal, my head was pounding, I felt dizzy, and I felt like I would puke any time I opened my mouth. I was in bad shape. Finally, we finished and were allowed to go home. When we got back to the house, I went straight to my room and fell asleep. I was being nudged awake a few house later by Caden. "Aria, hey, it's 4:30pm, you have to be back at the theatre in half an hour. Get up." He whispered as he shook me. "Mmm." I groaned as I opened my eyes. My head and stomach still hurt and I knew tonight was going to be difficult.

"Next up, it's the eight boys, and one girl. It's Stereo Kicks!" Louis introduced. The boys and I were waiting behind the big double doors and I was just praying I would be able to make it through my duet with James. When the doors opened, we walked on stage and got in our positions. "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me..." Barclay started the song. Jake and Tom were next, and then James and I. "And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me..." Tom and Jake sang in unison. Deep breath. Don't pass out. Don't throw up. You can make it through this one performance. "Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, whisper words of wisdom, let it be." James and I sang. I made it. I did it. I-- oh shit. I turned my mic off and quickly ran off stage to the nearest garbage and emptied all the contents of my stomach into the bin. It was awful. Since I haven't eaten for the the better part of two days, everything that came up was just acid from the energy drinks. I was shaking, and sweating and I was completely humiliated. I could see the boys giving each other worried looks during the performance. The stage was completely dark when I left so nobody actually knew that I was gone until all the lights came on. They pushed through and did a great job with the performance though. I felt a sudden rush of guilt course through me. The performance could have ended a completely different way had they not just kept singing. I listened backstage as the judges gave their critiques. They all asked if me leaving was part of the plan but the boys assured them they didnt know what was wrong. As the boys were coming off stage my stomach knotted and I threw up into the bin again. I could hear the boys running over to me. Someone, James I assume, pulled my hair back and massaged my back while I continued to throw up. When everything was finally out of me I turned around to face the guys. "Aria, what's wrong? Are you ok? Do you need to see the medic?" James looked at me concern clear in his eyes. "I'm fine." I said while wiping the sweat from my forehead. I heard Casey mumble something under his breath. "What was that Casey?" Tom and the rest of the boys looked at him. "I said, I knew this would happen. I warned her but she didn't listen." Casey spat as he stared menacingly at me. "What are you talking about? How could you possibly know she would get sick?" Chris asked. "Do you want to tell them, or should I?" Casey looked at me. There was no sympathy in his voice. "Casey don't." I almost pleaded. "What the hell is going on?" Tom looked from me to Casey, then back to me. Casey waited for me to say something but I didn't know what to say so he decided to speak for me. "Every night for the past month, Aria has been sneaking out of the house and not returning until the early morning. I watch her leave in a cab every night around the same time. During the week she gets home around 2:30am, and on the weekends she doesn't get home until 4:30am. I don't know what she's doing, or where she goes, I just know it's the reason she ran off stage tonight. God! You could have ruined everything tonight! Do you understand that?" Casey yelled. I felt tears begin to swell in my eyes. I took a deep breath and just stared at the boys. They were all looking at me, waiting for an explanation. I didn't have one. "Aria?" I turned and seen Caden walking towards us. I quickly turned and ran into his arms. Once in his embrace, I couldn't stop the tears. "Hey, shh. What's wrong? What happened?" He stroked my hair as he tried to calm me. "What's wrong is that your sister could have ruined our chances of going further in this competition. I assume you know she has been sneaking out every night? I bet you know where she goes too." Casey was so upset he was visibly shaking. "I swear to god if you ruined this for us, I will never forgive you Aria." He was no longer yelling. He was suddenly calm and collected, which made it so much worse. "Casey, calm down mate. You're overreacting." James tried to reason with him. "No. You don't get to tell me how to react. She's your girlfriend, obviously you're gonna stick up for her." Casey said. "Casey, you're being an ass. Just give her a break. You don't understand what you're talking about." Caden defended me. "I know that if we end up in the bottom two tomorrow, it's going to be her fault." Casey said. I just shook my head and walked away from the boys and the stage, and made my way to the exit doors.

By the time the boys got home, I was already gone. I picked up Layla for work and we made our way to the club in silence. I couldn't help but think that Casey was right. If we end up in the bottom two it's going to be my fault. I should tell the boys what's going on. I need to tell them. I can't tell them.

SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS. I'M SICK AND JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PROOF READING LOL. HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT! :D PS- HAPPY NEW YEAR!