What The Heart Wants (Stereo Kicks/ James Graham)

Chapter 58

I managed to find a secluded field about a mile away from the house. Even though it was a little chilly, I walked to the center of the grassy area, layed down, and just stared at the sky. Since it was almost 6pm, the sky was a light purple color and there was no trace of sunlight from where I stood. Well, layed. It was peaceful here, but that didn't stop my brain from thinking about a million things at once. "This is fucking ridiculous." I said out loud. Nobody was around to hear me, so I spoke to myself. "He's just a guy. I shouldn't care this much. I'm so stupid! What did I think would happen? Getting involved with my band member? Jesus fucking Christ..." I sighed and watched my breath swirl in the air. "I love him." I whispered and closed my eyes. I thought back to our first kiss. I was in the closet having a panic attack. I was sitting in James' lap and he just leaned down and kissed me. I couldn't help but smile at the memory. Everything was different then, and it's only been a few weeks. How did we go from best friends, to a couple, to two people who can't even look at each other in such a short amount of time? It doesn't matter because now Claire is back and I can't compete with her. They have a history. A messed up one, but it's still history. But I can't give up. He's my person. Yes, that's a Grey's Anatomy reference. He's my Christina. The person I trust with my life. So do I just fall for all that 'if you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be, if not, let it be.' Shit, or do I fight for him?

***

I got back to the house at 6:40pm. We leave for the show in ten minutes. That's plenty of time. I marched upstairs and walked into James' room. He was sitting on his bed scrolling through Twitter. All the boys were there too. "There you are. Thought we lost you for a minute." Reece smiled as I walked in. "I'm here. James, can I talk to you for a minute?" I looked at James who looked back up at me. "We have to leave in just a few minutes, we don't have time." He stuttered. "Let me rephrase that. James, I need to talk to you." I said sternly and grabbed his arm and pulled him off the bed. I dragged him from the bedroom, down to the game room closet. "Aria, what are we doing down here?" He sighed in frustration. "Listen to me you ass. I love you. Everything I ever told you was true. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. But if you don't love me anymore then I need to hear you say it. I can't hold out hope for something that's never going to happen. And I know that the whole fucking universe is against us right now, but I'm not giving up on us. I know I lied to you, and that was wrong, but I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to think differently of me. Your opinion of me is the only thing I care about. I love you James. I love you." I don't know where any of that came from but I'm glad it was said. "I can't....I can't be with you for a few weeks just to have you leave me." He said. "Well then it's a good thing I'm not leaving." I grabbed his hand and smiled. "What?" He looked at me, excitement clear in his eyes. "I could never leave you." I whispered. "But...your mom, Caden-" "I'll take care of it." I assured him. He just smiled and pulled me in for one of his bear hugs. I feel so safe in his arms. I also feel like as long as we're together, we can conquer anything. "I love you Aria. Always and forever." He whispered into my hair. When we pulled away, he slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and it felt like everything in the world had been set right again. I could finally breathe. When James pulled away he looked down at his phone and almost gave me a heart attack. "SHIT! We have to go!" He yelled then opened the closet door and we both ran upstairs and out the door to the van that would take us to the theatre. "I see you guys made up?" Chris looked down at mine and James' intertwined fingers. We quickly let go after we realized we were still holding hands. "Psst. Aria." Someone whispered. I looked around the van and notuced the boys smiling. "Pssst." They whispered again, and I noticed it wasn't any of the boys. Suddenly, Jake pointed at the floor in front of his feet. I peeked my head over the back of my seat to see what he was pointing at. It was..."Caden?" I whispered in disbelief. Caden was laying on the floor of the van, looking up at me. He just smiled at my confusion. "What are you doing here?" I kept whispering because if the driver found out Caden was here, he would pull over and kick him out. These vans are strictly for contestants only. "I needed a ride to the theatre." He whispered back. Jake and I were the only ones who could hear him so,when both of us randomly laughed, the other boys looked at us like we were on drugs. "How do you plan on getting out of the van when we get there?" I asked him. "I'll just act like I'm in the band. There's so many of you already, the dumb drivers won't know I don't belong." He shrugged his shoulders. It was kind of a good plan. I highly doubt the drivers are going to be able to differentiate nine people from ten. They don't even really pay attention to us. I didn't want Caden to know it was a good plan so I shook my head and said, "you're an idiot." He just smiled at me. I looked at Jake and gave him a 'he's not my brother' look. When we finally got to the theatre, Caden sat up and casually walked out of the van with us. When the other guys noticed him they started laughing. "I can't believe that worked." Caden whispered in my ear. "I can. The security and the staff here are totally oblivious to almost everything that happens." I replied. When the boys and I got to hair and make up Caden grabbed my hand and pulled me to the side. "Good luck tonight. I know you guys will be fine, but still. Go out there and smash this opening number. I'll be here when the show is over." He said before pulling me in for a hug. I hugged him back but was quickly pulled away by someone from the wardrobe department.

***

Everything was going fine until we found out we were in the bottom two. We had to to up against Lola and it ended up going to deadlock. Thankfully, we had more votes and are safe for another week.

***

I ended up calling into work again so I could go to the airport with Caden. Robert was pissed, but I really didn't care.  Caden said his goodbye's to all the boys and they were all genuinely upset he was leaving. He became like another member of the band. Finally, after he was ready, we went outside to the cab that had all his things already inside. We spent the entire ride in silence, with my head on his shoulder, and his head on mine. I don't dare talk before I have to, because once I try to talk I'm going to cry. I already know. All too soon, we pulled up outised the airport and I helped him get his luggage from the car. After everything was out of the car, he engulfed me in a hug and I started crying into his chest. I don't know the next time I'm going to see him. "Hey, look at me." He pulled away and forced me to look at him. "We're going to talk every day. Everything is going to be fine. I'm so proud of you for coming here and chasing your dreams. You are the best big sister anyone could ask for." He said, causing more tears to come. "I don't want you to go. I can't do this without you." I sobbed. He sighed. "Aria, can you do me a huge favor?" He asked. "What?" I looked up at him. "Quit your job. Get a different one. I hate seeing you so unhappy. Once you guys are done with the show, get a part time job." He said. "No. We need the money." I shook my head. "Yes, we do, but I can take care of it for a while." He tried to reason with me. "Not gonna happen. I'm not going to let you suffer by yourself. Speaking of.." I pulled an envelope out of my back pocket and handed it to him. "That's $4,500. That's all the money I've gotten since I started working. That should cover some of moms medical bills." I said. "Aria, do you know what this means?" Caden looked at me. "What?" I asked. "That means we only have $20,500 more to go before her bills are paid off." He smiled. "We're getting there." I smiled. "Yes, we are. Alright, I better go. Can't miss my flight." He gave me a sad smile. "I love you." I whimpered before pulling him in for another hug. "I love you too. I'll be watching and voting every week. I promise. You can do this Aria." He gave me one last squeeze before pulling away and heading inside.

UNEDITED. SORRY GUYS, I'M GETTING LAZY WHEN IT COMES TO PROOF READING LOL ANYWAY, JARIA IS BAAACK!! :D (DUH) I'M GONNA TRY TO FIT ALL THE BOYS IN A LITTLE MORE, BUT IT'S DIFFICULT WITH SO MANY OF THEM. IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEAS, DON'T BE SCARED TO INBOX ME AND LET ME KNOW! I LOVE HEARING YOUR SUGGESTIONS! :)