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Malaise

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Malaise.

N.

A general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify.



"Didn't," Punch.

"I," Kick.

"Say," Punch.

"Fuck," Punch.

"Off," Kick.

   I punched the punching bag three times in a row before screaming really loudly and roundhouse kicking it to the ground. My scream and the chains that previously held the punching bag rattling echoed off of the walls of the gym and I breathed heavily as I glared at Ryan. He looked at me with an emotionless face; he's used to my aggressive behavior by now.

  "You didn't get the girl, Elliott. It's time to get over it and get back to your duties. The packages from the last shipment disappeared last week and not a trace of it has been found. The Italian's were responsible," Ryan reported to me and I shrugged, "Oliver is my underboss, he can deal with it."

"He's already dealing with three-fourths of the shit you've been refusing to deal with for the past month since she left back to New York, boss," Ryan sighed and I walked up to him, towering over him by a couple of inches, "You hear that last word you spoke? Boss? Yeah, remember that next time you want to insinuate I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, Smith." He sighed and nodded before glancing at the towels littered with my blood that lied on the floor of the gym from me punching for the last few days straight, "I hope you do know what you're doing, boss. I really do."

   He turned around and walked out of the gym before I chunked the water bottle at the cement wall and screamed as loud as I could. The echoes of the impact continued for a couple of seconds as I blankly stared at the ceiling, physically feeling my rage cause my muscles to itch inside of my body. I'm not angry that she left with him, I'm angry that she lied to me. It doesn't even seem like her, she's the most honest and loving person I know so I don't know how she would have just left without saying goodbye.

  It's been a month since she left and I try so fucking hard to forget about her. I try so fucking hard to forget how happy she made me, how she opened up my heart and made me love her. I try so fucking hard to forget about the times we made love together and how she would blush every time I'd wink in her direction. I try so fucking hard to forget all of the good and happy memories I made with her and the fact that she made me want to be a better man. I try so fucking hard to forget the fact that I'll never love anyone the way I loved her and I'll never be loved as hard and as much as she loved me. But it never works.

It doesn't fucking make any sense!

   I clenched my fists so tight I could feel blood forming in the palms of my hand. I try so fucking hard to forget her existence but I can't do so when everything around me is a walking reminder of her.

  Ryan, one of my best mates, reminds me of her. They share the same kindness, the same brutal honesty, the same twinkle in the eye whenever they get excited over something small. Skye reminds me of her. They have the same passion for their future dreams, the same clothing style. Daniela reminds me of her- especially when she laughs. Their laughs are almost completely fucking identical. Oliver reminds me of her, they were best friends. He misses her almost as much as I do and his emotions show it. He's happy around Daniela, she takes his mind off of it, but when he's alone it's almost as if he's emotionless. Just like how everyone was when she left the first time. And don't even get me fucking started on how Scout reminds me of her. They're basically twins so even seeing her face is a trigger.

I sighed at the memory of her and walked out of the gym, throwing my shirt off of me because of how gross it was with my sweat. The doorbell echoed through the house and I rolled my eyes. Ever since Oliver made the deal to build a hotel with our family's name on it for me and instantly becoming a widely known billionaire, we keep getting sales peoples at the front door. I took some of my money and bought a huge house with three levels so the walk to the front door was quite long.

   I opened it and automatically spoke, "We're not interested, don't come back."

  "Excuse you?" I heard a familiar voice and I scrunched my eyebrows at the vaguely familiar woman standing on my doorstep.

Her hair was brown like my own and it reached a little ways past her shoulders in a wavy form. Her eyes were big, brown, and doe-like as she blinked at me, a little taken back from my rudeness. Her frame was short and petite and her accent didn't sound American.

   "Who are you?" I asked monotonously and she rolled her eyes, "Elise Lavigne, could you be a little ruder please?"

  Oh... Cameron's best friend. Fucking amazing.

"What do you want?" I asked and she sighed, "Cameron and Salvatore came here last month...? For her sister Scout's wedding?"

   "Uh-huh... what's your point?" I asked, genuinely confused and she checked her phone which was obnoxiously beeping, "I'm sorry, I have a lot of phone calls requesting interviews with her." She switched her phone off and placed it in her purse as she looked up at me, "May I come in?"

  I nodded and stepped out of the way, allowing her to enter my house. She walked in and gawked at everything, making me smirk in victory. I always wanted to own a house where people were dumbfounded by it. I guess I finally succeeded in that dream, huh?

"I'm guessing you're Elliott, right?" She assumed and I nodded. She nodded her head, "Figured. Rude and hot. Anyways, where is she? I figured she'd see you and swoon again then just forget to come back," she laughed and my eyebrows furrowed together.

   "What do you mean where is she?"

  "As in, I need her to model for my line I just dropped. It's been a month and people are curious as to where she's at because she's the new IT girl in New York," she boasted about her friend and I would've grinned if I weren't completely confused by now.

"She left back to New York with Salvatore," I said slowly and she shook her head, "Uhm... that's not right because I haven't seen or heard from any of them since the day they left for here..."

   "Well, then where the fuck is she?!" I growled.

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