Why? [YiZhan FanFiction]✔️

-13- What now?

-13- What now?

The moment Yibo kissed me, I was totally perplexed and didn't know how to react. I hung there stiffly and stared at him with big eyes. Damn, he kisses just as well as back then.

And he looks even better now than he did before. He's not the kind of person who just goes down in the crowd, who you look at once and immediately forget.

No, you remember him for a long time. No matter if you want to or not! And even my three year old daughter has been addicted to him from the very beginning. Because actually she is rather reserved and skeptical with strangers adults.

Except for Yibo. She liked him immediately after he said he had known me for a long time. It is strange that someone with such a cold aura like Yibo has such a power over other people.

I don't know what that kiss means. Now that I know the truth, does Yibo believe we can pick up where we left off? Just like that? I wish it were that simple.

But it is not. Because it has been seven years. A lot has happened in seven years. For example, I fell in love with Emma, we got married and became parents. I'm a father and I have to think about my child too.

In addition, he lives and works in Beijing and I am here in California with Xinxin. How can a relationship be run in such a situation? Should we meet twice a year? Once he comes here when he has vacation and then when I have my annual vacation, I go to him?

And would Xinxin even accept him by my side? She has never had to share me with anyone else, and certainly not with another man. How would she react?

What now? There's an absolute chaos of emotions in me. One side wants to be with him, just as I always wanted to be back then. But the other side is against it and bombards me with all these questions to which I have no answers.

All of this happened so fast now that I didn't even really have time to be angry, because everybody lied to me back then. Everyone kept the truth from me and let me suffer.

It's like my heart is bleeding and Yibo is laying on it like a Band-Aid. But how long will the band-aid last? When is it time to take it off? Or can it be kept on for the rest of my life?

"ZhanZhan, what are you thinking about?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Come on. You just stared ahead of you for minutes and said not a word. What's wrong?"

"All right. The kiss, what was that?"

"Um, sorry. I was carried away when you said that you had feelings too and wanted to be with me. And honestly, I've waited so long to do this, that I just did it without thinking."

"What I wanted to know more was. What do you want to do now?"

"If I have my way, I want to be with you. All I ever wanted was to be with you. I waited seven years for you, so that I could finally be with you. I've never wanted anyone else but you, Zhan. I know a lot of time has passed, and you have Xinxin now, but still I hope you can give us a chance."

"Suppose I say yes to a relationship. How would that work? Me here and you in Beijing."

"If you give me or us a chance, I can move here to California. The company I work for has a subsidiary here too. I could get a transfer here. I would do it, without any ifs or buts."

"Wouldn't that be too much to?"

"How can you ask such a thing? I told you, I want to be with you. I love you ZhanZhan. Do you understand? I love you. And that's why I'm willing to move here for you. For you and for Xinxin, if she'll accept me.

"Daddy? Can we please keep Yibo?"

I look at my daughter standing at the banister, eyes rubbing and her head bent, she looks at me questioningly.

"Honey, you don't own people. People aren't stuffed animals."

"But Yibo wants to stay here, right Yibo?"

Xinxin comes down the stairs and comes to us to the sofa, where she sits on Yibo's lap. She grabs him by the cheeks with both hands and grins. "Will you stay here with Daddy and me?" She wants to know about him and rubs his cheeks.

"Only if your daddy allows it."

"I live here too! I allow this! Then we can play every day."

"We could do that, little Xinxin."

"And if you're nice to me, you can kiss my daddy again."

Yibo turns red and I have to cough. Damn, she must have been listening and watching us the whole time.

She presses Yibo's cheeks together until his mouth is puckered. Then she gives him a little peck on Yibo's puckered lips and laughs. She throws her arms around his neck and the two embrace each other.

Looks like Xinxin has made a decision for me. "Xinxin, do you know what it means when one man kisses another man?" I ask her to make sure she understands.

"Yes, that means Yibo loves you! Just like mama loved you. Do you love me too Yibo? Because I love you."

"I love you very much." Answer Yibo the question.

"And do you love my daddy?"

"Yes, I love him dearly."

"And then will you be my dad? Because you're not a mom, so you have to be a dad."

"If you want me to be your dad and your daddy allows it, I'd love to be your dad."

I watch the two of them as they already discuss their relationship with each other and cannot help but watch them speechlessly and wonder if the two were brought together by a higher power.

The two of them together look so beautiful, so warm and loving, that it gets very warm around my heart. It is wonderful to see how wonderfully easy it is for Xinxin to see and do things.

She does not ask herself thousands of questions, but listens to her heart. At the age of three, she sees things more clearly than many adults. She sees more clearly than I can.

Yibo takes my hand and then Yibo and Xinxin look at me. "What is now Daddy? Can we please keep Yibo?