Why? [YiZhan FanFiction]✔️

-4- Bad news

-4- Bad news

The days and weeks fly by when you have a baby. Little Xinxin is now five months old and has turned my life upside down.

The first weeks she preferred to turn day into night and night into day. I only got a little sleep when my mother-in-law came over and took Xinxin with her for a few hours.

After six weeks she had fixed sleeping hours and gradually began to sleep through the nights.

When she was eight weeks old, I went back to work, but at first only part-time. Meanwhile she had been in the company's own childcare facility. I was relieved to know that I only had to go two floors down to see her.

Unfortunately, there's no good news about Emma. Her condition hasn't changed even now, after five months. The doctors have tried everything and are now completely at a loss.

They have even contacted colleagues all over the world and let them help them. But no matter what they tried, Emma still hasn't come back. She's still living in her delusional state and in her very own little world.

Every week there's a new set of bad news. She was in the group room with the other patients, doing handicrafts. And all of a sudden, she cut off her long hair. She started hitting other patients and had to be isolated.

When she was allowed back in the group room with the other patients, she promised to behave herself. But only five minutes later, she tried to smash the head of an elderly patient because she thought he was a secret agent of the government and only there to control her.

She also tried to hurt herself with crayons. An orderly tried to stop her and was injured. She rammed the sharp crayon into his forearm, where it got stuck three inches deep.

According to doctors, they see no hope for Emma. All they can do for her now is to sedate her and keep trying to treat her medically. In the hope that the drugs will eventually work.

My in-laws are about to give up their hope. But I keep on hoping. I don't want to give it up. Maybe there's still the old Emma inside her, just waiting to be helped.

And our daughter needs her mother. Every child needs its mother and its father. Far too many children have only one parent. I don't want my daughter to be one of them. But the way it looks, that's the way it's gonna be.

My mother keeps telling me on the phone to come home. Back to the family and their support. She just doesn't understand that I can't just walk away from here.

This is my wife, my in-laws are here. I also have a well-paid job here with childcare. My house, my friends. My whole life is here in the US now, not Beijing.

Tonight, for the first time in all this time, I had a long phone call with my father. He cried on the phone and told me that he missed me. That he was sorry. I asked him what he was sorry for.

"That we ignored you and your feelings at that time. We all thought only of ourselves and didn't think about how you felt, your sister or Yibo." He told me.

"Father, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Okay? It's been four years and I'm done with it."

"But you know nothing Zhan. Yibo has..." Again I interrupted my father.

"No father. I do not want to hear about Yibo. He told me himself, he doesn't want to have contact with me. I should leave him alone. He told me he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I respect that and that's why I stay away from anything that has to do with Yibo. Let it go already!" I said angrily and ended the conversation.

I think I may need a new phone number soon. Because I don't think my parents are gonna give up that easily. I don't know why they always have to start with him and keep opening up old wounds in me. I'm so sick of it.

The next day I had just finished my work and was picking up Xinxin from the toddler group when my phone rang. The clinic again. And once again bad news. But this time for the last time.

"Apparently, your wife somehow managed to get a knife. We don't know how and we're still trying to figure it out. She hid in her room and cut her wrists. When we found her, it was too late."

Suddenly I'm a single parent widower. I couldn't believe it. I arrived at the clinic with my in-laws. I don't know how long we cried before we were able to watch the videos with the clinic director.

Two policemen were also there and watched the videos with us. But no matter how long we watched those videos. It remained a mystery how she got the knife. Especially because the counted knives were all complete.

***

Two months later...

After two months now I have overcome the shock of my wife's suicide. We, my in-laws and I, have given her a beautiful funeral. Many friends and relatives were there, even my parents.

After Emma's suicide, I called my parents and asked them to come and see me. And without thinking, they got on the plane the same day and came to see me and Xinxin.

But I made one condition, of course. Not a word about Yanli or Yibo. I truly had other worries.

Thanks to the financial support of my parents, which means they paid for everything, Emma got a beautiful funeral. Her gravestone is not yet finished, but when it is, there will be a picture of her on it and a nice saying. "The only important thing in life is the traces of love we leave behind when we leave."

They finally found out where Emma got the knife. Apparently, visitors of a patient had a knife with them because they brought fruit they had cut for her.

They hadn't noticed that the knife was suddenly missing. And although checks are made before the visit, they hadn't noticed the knife. So one thing could cause another and ultimately lead to the fact that Xinxin had to grow up without her mother.

My parents have been here for two months and will return home next week. On the one hand I am sad because I really enjoyed the time with them very much. But I am also looking forward to having my house to myself again.