A Never Noticed Mate

Let's End this (Part 2)

Clarissa POV

"Let's end this."

Silence.

My words lingering in the silent night as I continued to look at him with a small smile on my face and tears fighting to surface but I drank them back. I won't let them blind me anymore.

This was meant to happen eventually. The difference is just that it happened a little early.

Although I know this then why?

Why is my heart clenching so tightly? Why is my wolf whimpering? Why am I smiling and yet not satisfied? Why am I accepting it yet hoping for it to be another nightmare? Why am I looking at him with a hope in my eyes? Why am I waiting for him to hold me and comfort me? Why am I hoping he would reject my words?

Why am I still expecting...?

He visibly stiffened as his whole body went rigid. The jewel of his face, his amethyst eyes shifted towards me, widening slightly in surprise.

I didn't let my smile falter and fisted my hand behind my back to keep myself stable.

"You're right after all. I should face reality and not cling to meaningless emotions." My heart broke with every word I spoke and my hands went cold with the amount of force I was using on them but I didn't let that show on my face.

He always told me that he was 'forced' to be in this relationship. I don't want him to continue being with me because of my weak teary self. I must look unaffected.

"I will leave after two months when my training is complete and will never appear before you." His eyes continued to look at me as if frozen while mine only turned hard.

Being with you these past few days were the happiest days of my life... I wish I could say this but I know I will be only burdening him. It's one-sided feelings after all...

I wished to remain a while longer till the time you wouldn't ask me to go away. I want to live by your side and die by your side. How unrealistic it tastes to imagine but it would have been a dream if it really came true. However, some wishes are bound to remain untrue.

I must wipe your face from my memories and erase all my feelings from my heart. I must forget your name and forget this place. I must forget that you were the first person I fell in love with without any bonds and the one who made me learn how joyful and painful love is but...I will never forget you, or my love for you or the memories we made.

I will always remember you and cherish the time spent together.

You're the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.

My smile turned bitter with pain and longing as I looked at him closely one last time and when I was sure that he wouldn't hold me back, I got up "Good night."

He remained silent even when I turned to leave. I could feel his stare burning me from behind but never once did he call my name, never once did he call me back and never once did he stop me from leaving.

I muffled my tears and instead walked with straightened shoulders and rough back. Every step dreary and heavy but I had to force my legs to lift and rest until the moment I was safe in the library.

My heart heavy with emotions, my mind tired with thoughts, my eyes blurry with tears, my lips trembling in pain as my body dropped onto the ground lifeless.

Looking out the window through glossy vision I wondered what he would do if he ever knew how much I love him...

But this words no longer matter. I have to give up.