Still My Fault

INTERLUDE

Ethan's Point of View

I find myself gasping and running. It feels like this terrain has no end. Someone is catching me. I don't know whoever he is. His face is blurry and I just keep on running. All I know is that I need to run and I need to find Anja. Where is she right now?

I found myself being hit by the crashing waves. The fuck! Karagatan na 'to! Paano pa ako makakatakas? I can't find a way. Wait, there's a boat. I need to ride that boat. How about Anja? Where is she?

I'm about to ride the boat when someone grasped my hand. He caught me. There's no escape. I just stand on my place steadfastly. I don't want to see his blurry face again.

"It's your fault."

"It's still your fault."

Paulit-ulit niyang sabi. Nakaramdam ako ng pagsikip sa dibdib ko. I cannot breathe well. Why am I feeling this?

Ipinikinit ko na lang ang mga mata ko. Naramdaman ko na lang na tahimik at payapa na ang paligid. Unti-unti kong iminulat ang aking mga mata.

I opened my eyes and found myself gasping. It was just a dream! That dream was so insane. I can't explain what I am feeling right now. I feel so tired and breathless. Why am I dreaming of this? Why am I being like this? Am I ovethinking?

I roam my eyes around the room. It's dark. It's always dark. I prefer darkness. I always turn my lights off before sleeping.

I found someone standing on the corner. He's about my height but I think he's smaller. He brushed his hair and his face sharpen. Wilson...

I'm just hallucinating. This is not real. He's already dead. I accepted it and I'm on the process of healing right now. I'm happy with my life right now.

Nagsimula siyang gumalaw ngayon sa pwesto. Dahan-dahan siyang lumabas siya sa kwarto ko. I'm just observing him pacing through the door. I'm about to stay in my place but he didn't make a move. He is just standing behind my door, smirking.

Dahan-dahan kong iginalaw ang katawan ko. I followed him. Hindi ko alam kung saan niya ako dadalhin. Dinala niya ako sa dati niyang kwarto kung saan naroroon si Vlad. Mahimbing na natutulog si Vlad ngayon at nakatayo si Wilson sa tabi ng dati niyang kama. He's brushing Vlad's hair. Why are you doing this, bro?

I gasp before following him through the veranda inside his room. The cold air covered my body as I passed the glass door which serves as the passageway of the veranda. I can feel it's freshness. I can feel nature. I can feel my brother again.

Wilson is a meter far from me. He's shining with his white shining formal clothes.

"Wilson..." I said without energy. He smirked. Why are you being like that? Talk to me, bro. I'm listening.

"Kuya Ethan!"

Natauhan ako nang magising si Vlad. Agad akong lumingon at nakita ko siya na kinukusot-kusot pa ang mga mata. Namamanglaw pa ang kaniyang mata na tumitingin sa akin. He's observing me from top to toe. This guy is really an observant.

"Kuya Ethan, why are you here? Ang aga pa 'di ba? Hindi ka naman siguro excited pumasok 'di ba?"

Sunod-sunod niyang tanong.

Anong isasagot ko? Kilala ko si Vlad, laging may kasunod na tanong 'yan kapag sumagot ako. I don't bother to answer. It's not my responsibility. Ngumiti na lang ako bago lumabas.

"Sleepwell." I said then I turned his lights off. Bumalik ako sa kwarto at natulog na lang muli.