Our Little Secret (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Your Thoughts are Loud

The next day came all too quickly. You paced around your room so many times you lost count. You knew they'd be coming to get you. It was only a matter of time before you'd have to see him again. The thought of it made your stomach churn. You wanted to hate him so badly. You really wanted to--but somehow you couldn't. What you felt wasn't even close to hate. You despised the fact that a part of you really wanted to see him. You felt like the biggest idiot in all the galaxy. You would never be anything to a man like him. He probably hadn't even thought of you since he'd left you, sitting there trapped in shackles. 

Still, your heart continued to beat faster every time the memory of him popped into your head. You vividly remembered the feeling of his length, pressed against your leg--his deep voice echoing in your ears. But you knew, that no matter what you really wanted, you couldn't let it happen again. Being with him went against everything you believed in. You knew that he was responsible for the death of so many of the people you loved. You wouldn't be surprised if he was the one that ordered the attack on your base. The thought made you queasy. 

Hours passed by, and nothing. No one came. You started to think that maybe no one was coming. Maybe this was their plan, to trap you in a prettier room just to make you think you were safe and then slowly starve you to death. You couldn't decide if that was better or worse than having to face Kylo again. 

A few more hours went by, eventless. You were laying back on your bed, eyes focused on the plain white ceiling above you, when a noise from the hallway startled you. Footsteps. Heavy, echoing footsteps. You sat up quickly and slid off the bed, staring at the door. You heard the beeping of the buttons on the other side, and flinched as the lock clicked . You were expecting another trooper. That's who it had been every other time. You gulped, bracing yourself for that traumatic white mask to meet your gaze. 

But it wasn't a trooper. As the door swung open slowly, there stood Kylo, wrapped in those same black robes you remembered. Your heart stopped as he appeared before you, seeming even larger than you remembered in the doorway. His mask stared back at you, emotionless. You audibly gulped. He took a few strides into the room as you stood, frozen, by your bed. 

"Are you enjoying the change of scenery?" He asked, cooly. 

You stared, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Yes" you managed.  

He moved closer, his robes swaying around his boots. 

"I ordered that you be moved here," he continued, his voice causing a sudden heat to appear between your legs. Stop, you silently ordered yourself. "I thought it would be beneficial. You're closer to me now. I can keep my eye on you." You sucked in a quick breath, gathering up courage to speak. 

"Keep your eye on me?"

"Yes-" he replied shortly, "You're my prisoner. I often doubt the ability of my troopers. I don't trust them with something of such high importance."

His words made your heart leap in your chest. Something of such high importance. Maybe he did feel something for you after all-

"No-" he cut off your thoughts, turning abruptly to look at you, "You have valuable information that you've yet to give to me. You are a prisoner of importance. That is all."

Your face burned bright red. Embarrassment washed over you like a tidal wave. Why had you expected anything different? Another concerning though shot through your mind. Why did you care at all how Kylo Ren felt about you? 

"I really wish you wouldn't do that." You whispered, fighting the lump in your throat.

He didn't respond, staring you down with invisible eyes. 

"I could hear you last night." He said, breaking the silence. "Dreaming of me."

Your breath caught in your chest. You'd known that he could hear your thoughts when he was with you..but when you were that far away? You suddenly queasy, your stomach flipping. 

"Oh-" was all you could get out. You weren't sure what color your face was at this point. Red from humiliation, or green from the nausea. He took more step towards you, slowly shifting his body weight from one foot to the other. 

"Your thoughts are loud," he continued, "I couldn't stop hearing you."

Was that supposed to be a good thing? You shot him a confused gaze, stepping back to press your back against the side of the bed. He was only about ten feet from you now. Your legs started to shake. He stepped forwards again, closing the gap between the two of you with just two steps. Kylo stood high above your head, chest slowly rising and falling. His shadow cast over you, drowning you in lust. You could barely hear his breath under his mask, and you bit your lip thinking of him heaving over you...touching you all over...

"Is that what you want?" He asked in a slow, drippy voice.

You stared up at him, nodding. Your mind told you to stop--to run to the door and try to escape. But you knew deep down that even if there was a small chance of you getting away--you didn't want to. All of your rational thoughts--your morals--had vanished. All you could think about now was Kylo's giant hands running all over your body, his figure pressed up against yours. You leaned back onto the bed, letting your body fall down onto it. Slowly, you began to pull your legs apart, one at a time. You heard him exhale, quietly. Your clit throbbed at the thought of him moaning into your ear, his fingers in your hair. He moved even closer, leaning over you and meeting your gaze. Your breath caught in your throat—his face being so close to yours. You wanted nothing more than for him to rip off his mask and toss it aside. You urned to kiss his lips, to see his face, to run your hands through his hair. Your mind flickered to the memory of the boy in your vision. How beautiful he was...

He flinched, pulling back and standing up straight. Shit, you thought to yourself as you sat up quickly, slamming your legs back together. Your face burned again as he stood there, examining you. 

"Your interrogation will begin again tonight. A trooper will escort you when it's time."

Idiot, you ruined it, you criticized yourself as you nodded. Your heart ached as he backed away, like you'd poisoned him. With a small nod in return, he turned away from you and walked towards the door, boots slamming against the ground. You almost said his name to stop him, but decided against it. He could hear your thoughts anyway, if he wanted to stay, he would have. Your heart sank a little as he left the room, the door slamming closed and locking behind him. 

You breathed deeply, slowing your racing heart. Tonight you'd see him again--and you needed to be ready. You weren't going to let him get anything out of you. You had to be strong--for the Resistance. For yourself. For Leia.