With Love to cat from fin

CHAPTER 33

It was 3.30 in the afternoon when i reached home, mom comes home by 4.30 so i fished my keys out and opened the door. My head hurts from all the crying so i went straight to kitchen and made tea for all of us, i poured a large cup of tea for myself and stored the rest in a thermal flask, 

I sat on couch drinking tea while switching channels after a while my mom opened the door looking around "hey sweety, you're early today" she said placing a bag of vegetables on the kitchen island "yeah, no classes" i answered simply as i placed my cup in the unwashed dishes "i made tea for all of us" i said pointing to the thermal flask.

I helped mom clean the vegetables she brought then went to my room after that. I went straight to bathroom and filled the bath tub, i walked into my closet choosing a baggy comfortable t-shirt which reached my mid thighs, i went back and checked the water before undressing myself and settled in soaking myself with the warm water as my mind raced with all the thoughts.

I came out of bathroom after a long time, i dried myself and pulled on the large t-shirt then wrapped my hair in a clean towel. I came out and sat before mirror drying my hair, looking....observing the reflection in the mirror, my face looked fresh but it was my eyes that caught my attention, i had small bags under my eyes, they looked dull and tired, my eyes that used to twinkle with joy and mischief, now mostly seen with tears burning behind them.

I pulled the straightener through my long hair to straighten them then went back into bathroom to collect my used clothes to dump them in the laundry basket, i came back to my room and laid on my back with hands propped behind my head.

I started to think  about all the things going on in my life, I should consider everything, i should not take any silly decisions like before which ruined lives. Now on one hand i have samrat who seems to show special attention and care to me but I don't think samrat has anything for me, he sees me as a good friend, i can't ignore the fact that he shows special interest in me but that's all because we got close during dance class and it doesn't mean that he have a thing for me, come to think of it aedion and jermy sounded like the thing about Mr. Dawson is a confidential issue but samrat talked to pam about it which means he doesn't feel much special about me. 

Then on the other hand i have pam who helps us with everything, she has become a part of my college life, she's a kind hearted girl, she has been with me since the day i entered the campus and i can't hurt her. Both samrat and pam are equally important to me. 

So considering all the things i am sure that samrat doesn't have feelings for me atleast not the same way i do and pam she's a good girl, she would never hurt samrat so i decided to help pam hit on samrat. 

And coming to my feelings, i think i can manage to keep them at bay.  All i have to do is ignore him and my feelings for him as much as possible, yeah that's the best solution i could come up with to make myself fall out of the thing i have for him.

Now the first thing i will have to do is ignore his calls and messages also i should say no to his car ride offers, you're so rude my inner voice accused, i sighed heavily i can't take any chances, it's a good thing that no one knows about all this, i can't just do that, i can't just go on hurting people with my foolishness, And it would be super weird if you suddenly starts ignoring him my inner voice said again, yeah so i should do it slowly, for now let's ignore his calls and messages i answered to myself. 

So I decided to ignore him but i knew it's more easy said than done considering my feelings for him, i might get hurt every time i see him but what can i do? i really can't afford to loose any more friends.

I curled up to my side thinking about him when my mobile on night stand started buzzing, i picked it to see samrat's name flashing on it, i contemplated on whether i should lift the call or should i start ignoring him, it's better you talk to him cause you cried like a baby in his arms and now he might be worried about you my inner voice said, i agreed sometimes my inner self seems more witty and accurate than i can ever be.

I was about to press the answer button when the call ended, i opened the call logs list to call him but before i could do so. my mobile screen again flashed with his name, i attended the call immediately "hey were you busy?" 

"not really" i said trying to sound normal, 

"i just wanted to check on you, is everything okay?"  

"yeah, why? i mean... i'm fine don't worry"  

"okay"  

"okay"  

"don't over think fiona, just sleep over it, everything will be okay after a good night's sleep" he said, my heart swelled with his warm words, he always cared and comforted me, he is such a sweet guy, i'm just not lucky enough to have him in my life, my throat closed up at the thought of losing him, 

"okay" i mumbled before bidding good bye. it's going to be hard to avoid him when he shows this much concern on me. I sighed and tucked under sheets thinking to myself that this is how cathy's birthday has come to an end this year. 

Next day while driving to college dany literally ate away my brain asking me if i am okay and if i have something to talk to her, i said that i'm fine but she was convinced that i'm not okay and kept on asking me questions, 

"so you are back with kaal?" i asked changing the topic, immediately she blushed making me smile, "kind of" she said without looking at me, "so when are you telling us officially?" i asked smiling brightly, "don't know sweets, i'm still not sure about him" she said, "come on dany i don't want to push you but seriously kaal is a good man, just start dating him already" i said catching her eyes, she nodded and opened her mouth to say something then closed it concentrating on road, 

"come on dany, spill" i demanded, "i wanted to ask if you're interested in dating someone" she started,  "i can introduce you to one of my friends" she continued not giving me a chance to say anything, i stared at her flatly "don't look at me like that, but really fiona, one of my guy friend is really interested in you, he is a good man, may be you can find him interesting, i can let you......" i cut her off "okay not happening dany" i said turning away from her 

"but sweets, see pam and i are seeing someone, i don't want you to be the fifth wheel" she said glancing at me, "no dany, not now just drop it" i said looking out of the window, 

I thought dany has understood that it's a no-no topic between us, she never pushed me to talk about my private life, why is she doing it now? cause sometimes all the shitty things starts to happen at once and you can't avoid them my inner voice chuckled, i sighed and reached for my bag as she parked the car before our faculty building. 

*****************************************************************************

Hey guys,      

Hope you like this chapter.

What do you think of this chapter? please let me know through the comment section below and don't forget to vote on the chapter.

See you again in next chapter :)