With Love to cat from fin

CHAPTER 54

SAMRAT POV:

I sat looking at the bed where she was sitting just a minute ago, my heart shattering into pieces when she clearly said that we can't, what does she mean by we can't? i don't understand what's the real problem? am i not good enough? is it because of that shit regan or may be because she had some bad experiences with relationships or may be because someone raped her and now she don't want to have any relationships...oh wait what!!? what are you thinking samrat?!! i pulled my hair in frustration. she clearly said that she is the one at fault. what is her fault? damn why is she so tough to understand?

Thinking hard for a long time with the few brain cells i have, i came to conclusion that i should get her to talk clearly of what's stopping her or else i feel like i will go crazy with frustration, 

A mixture of disappointment and sadness filled my chest as i looked at the abandoned gift, i gave it a sad smile and laid on my back thinking of how she cried before me, her eyes held soo much pain, that's making me crazy, the way she looked at me when she took in the gift, i could say she was happy with it but then suddenly those happy tears changed into painful cries, she shook as sobs escaped her throat, it was one hard sight, i can't see her crying like that, i almost cried with her, 

then she said we can't in a shaky voice making my heart stop, she said it like she wants to but something doesn't let her, oh wait! i sat upright. how did i miss this? yes that was it! she never said she doesn't want, she always says 'i can't' which means she actually likes me but something is stopping her, okay stop! i shouldn't assume anything but damn i know the way she looks at me, the way she responds to my kiss, it's like the perfect kiss i have ever had, her kisses are all i need in my life, i could practically feel the love, Then why we can't? i don't get it, dammit i groaned as slowly my head ache returned.

Thanks to my bunny i felt a lot better and decided to go out to eat something, i called aedion and jermy to eat with me, aedion was busy with blind date, so only i and jermy went to eat at a local restaurant. I explained everything to him, he looked at me with a knowing smile, "so she came to see you" he asked gobbling his food, "uhm" i said, 

"i am sure she have a strong reason sam, she is very good at heart, i support her even if she rejects you" he said 

"tell me one thing. why are you soo protective of her?" i raised my brows at him, 

he gave me a smirk before returning to eat, "she is someone i respect sam, when she heard of me and brad, she could've gossiped about us making it worse for us instead she directly talked to me, supported me, when she said 'it's okay' that was the only word i needed the most during my break down" he said "friend or no, i'll kick your ass if you hurt her" he added with a serious look, "uhm" i said eating my food.

The next day i was feeling nervous the whole time while i got ready to college, i know it's nothing, i can get her to talk then it will be over and boy will it be that easy as i am thinking? 

I went to class and sat in last row of seats, i can practically feel my heart thumping in my chest as i waited for her to arrive, everyone came and class started but i saw no trace of her, seeing my anxious self aedion passed me a paper with "she might have some work, don't worry" i sighed hoping for best.

During lunch i asked dany about her "don't know sam, she said she is needed at home"

"yesterday too she went home early" pam added looking at her mobile, pam is such a sweet and kind girl, i don't know why but i feel comfortable talking to her, we don't talk much in person, we often text each other to discuss anything. 

i sighed, will i even see her today? max appeared to be unfazed of fiona's absence may be he already knows the reason, they are close friends remember a voice in the back of my mind said, i don't like the idea of it, i turned my face deciding to avoid him.