Remember When...(YiZhan)

Chapter 6

     It had been four days and Yibo still hadn't called him. To say Zhan was slightly on edge would have been an understatement. He had been quite busy as well with filming and also practicing his duet for the show, Our Song, with Na Ying Jie. However, whenever he had a minute he checked his phone to see if he had missed a call from Yibo. Of course he would have liked to hear his voice, but even to know that Yibo was thinking about him would at least help ease some of the emptiness he felt inside. Zhan took in a deep breath and focused, he was about to go on stage to perform his duet with Na Ying. A song he chose that Na Ying had sang before called Love you but Lonely - the lyrics in the song really resonated with how he was feeling. Zhan stepped out and moved to the correct position on stage. Zhan needed to nail this performance, not only for himself, but he couldn't let Na Jie down. He brought the mic up to his lips and he started to sing.

     He poured his emotion into the song that lasted only five minutes hoping that when the editing was finished and the show aired, that Yibo would see it. Would he know that he had chosen and sung it for him?

     Now that he was backstage in his change room he could finally take a moment to himself. He put his face in his hands as tears filled his eyes. Xiao Zhan how did you get yourself into this, he berated himself. When he was with Yibo he felt nothing else mattered, but with the silence over the last few days, doubts that he harboured began to surface again. Where was this thing between Yibo and him going? Was it just lust? Zhan shook his head. No it might have started off as just lust for him, but it had grown to something more. Zhan needed to know what Yibo was thinking.  Maybe Yibo hadn't called because he had figured out what Zhan had been worried about all along - that there was no future for them.

    A knock on his change room door had Zhan wiping away his tears. "Come in," he said.

     Na Jie peeked her head in and smiled at as she came in the room and closed the door behind her. She looked at Zhan closely, reached for his hands and brought him over to sit on the couch with her.

     "You once said you wondered what I had gone through in my life to lead me to sing such a sad song," Na jie began, "I'm going to ask you the same kind of question. What are you going through that made you choose that song?"

     Zhan smiled at Na Jie – she was open and kind to him ands she was one of the most transparent persons that he had met in the business so far. Over 20 years his senior she had a forthright personality and a wonderful sense of humour.

     "I... I don't know Na jie ... it's nothing," he stammered, looking down at his hands.

     Na Ying shook her head and put her hand on his shoulder, "Look at Na jie, I know something is eating away at you. I'm not going to pry, but whatever it is, you will get through it."

     Zhan's eyes filled with tears. "What if there is no solution?"

     Na Jie put a hand to Zhan's cheek. "Silly boy, in my experience, there is always a solution - if you want it enough."

     Zhan nodded and gave her a slight smile. "Thank you, Na jie," he said.

     Na Ying patted his head and got up to leave so Zhan could have his privacy. Before she opened the door, she turned her head back to Xiao Zhan and said, "It's also in my experience, that this business can be cruel, but it's important to not let it rule your heart." With that said, she opened the door and left Zhan to think upon her words.