Euthanasia ||Awsten Knight||

27- you

Having Awsten over was awesome. He cooked me breakfast and made sure I ate enough and stayed healthy, he helped me study, he got along with everyone that came over, but mostly, he was there. Like actually, physically there. Like I could just, hold him and kiss him and cuddle him whenever I wanted. That was really nice. This was the first time we'd been able to really be together since we, you know, got together.

There was no tour managers breathing down our necks, no restricting schedules, no time differences, no laptop screen keeping us apart. We could just sit, and talk, and be goofy.

I think that it's around this time that I realized how much he's helped me, and how much I really love him. So I told him.

He sat next to me, his arm around my waist and his head on my shoulder.

"Awsten?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you,"

"I love you too," I felt him smile into my neck.

"No, you don't get it. I, like, really love you. A lot." I kissed his forehead. "You mean so much to me. I love you." Awsten looked back up at me.

"I love you, too." He took my face in his hands and kissed me. "So much."

It was my weekend off, which meant two full days of watching movies with Awsten. Or so I thought.

"FUCK!" I exclaimed, jumping up and running to look for my bag.

"Alex? Alex, what's wrong?!" Awsten called after me.

"I have a final tomorrow, I can't believe I forgot!" I scrambled to find my notes in my bag. As my panic rose, I started throwing the stuff I didn't need and whispered, scolding myself for my forgetfulness. I was starting to hyperventilate when I heard Awsten start talking behind me.

"Alex, it's okay. I'll help you study, we got this. Just stop for a second, alright?" His arms snaked around my waist as I held my backpack like a stuffed animal. "I can make you some color coded note cards or some shit. D'you think that'll help?" He asked. I nodded.

"Maybe a quizlet if you have time," I sniffed, giggling. I turned to hug my boyfriend. "You're the best,"

"I know."

Awsten helped me study practically all night, and we ended up falling asleep on my bed surrounded by notes and index cards.

The next morning I woke up with Awsten's jacket around my shoulders, but the man himself was nowhere to be seen.

I wandered downstairs where I saw Awsten in the kitchen with my death star waffle maker.

"I hope it's okay, I fucked up your kitchen but now you have waffles." He gestured to the plate of waffles on the counter.

"It's okay as long as you promise to un-fuck it up while I'm in class today."

"I promise." He smiled as I got a plate for myself, drenching the waffles in butter and syrup.

"I hope they're good. I got the recipe from the good eats website, but you're out of salt, so. If it's not salty enough that's why."

"So today I have a math exam, a presentation for theory, and then I have to finish my film history essay," I ate my waffles and thought about everything I needed to do today as Awsten made his way behind me and rested his chin on my head. "Could you drive me to class?" I asked.

"Of course," Awsten smiled before we left my apartment and headed to his car.

The day of exams and schoolwork went by quickly, and I managed to finish my essay in one of my classes. Awsten waited for me outside my last class, and I climbed into his car, eager to go the fuck home and watch movies and shit.

A question occupied my mind. I'd had this question since Awsten first started showing interest in me, but I'd gotten so far by now without asking I really wanted to know the answer.

"Hey Awsten?" I leaned into him as we sat on my bed.

"Hm?"

"Why do you like me?" I asked, and he looked at me like I was crazy. "I mean, when we first met, even before we met, I always thought you only liked girls? So, why me?"

He sighed and kissed the top of my head. "I don't only like girls, Alex. I only like you,"

My heart swelled as he said that, and I grinned.

He only likes me.