Euthanasia ||Awsten Knight||

13- help

Geoff came up to me after the meet and greet.

"Hey Alex," He looked nervous.

"Hey, Geoff, what's up?" I asked.

"Um, could you come talk to Awsten? He won't come out of his bunk and I'm getting worried," He explained. I nodded.

"Where is he?" I asked as we started walking.

"He's on our bus, he's been like this for an hour," I looked over at him.

"Why didn't you come get me?"

"You were working, and I was hoping he'd talk to me or Otto, but he won't," I started walking faster.

We walked onto the bus and I immediately went back to the bunks, before remembering I didn't know which one was his.

"Awsten?" I said. I heard quiet sobs coming from one of the middle bunks. I walked over to Awsten's bunk, slowly opening the curtain.

Awsten sat curled up in a ball with his headphones on. He was crying. It broke my heart. I slowly put my hand on his back. He flinched at my touch and looked up, his eyes full of horror. He quickly tried to hide his tears from me.

"Awsten, it's okay," I said, not realizing he couldn't hear me through his headphones. I climbed up into the bunk. Awsten pulled off his headphones.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Offering emotional support, of course,"

"I'm okay, I just-"

"Awsten, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I'm not gonna let you just sit and cry alone when I could just as easily be here for you. Okay?" I cupped his face in my hand. He offered a small nod, tears still streaming down his cheeks. I pulled him into a hug, holding him as he cried.

It was about twenty minutes later that Awsten finally started to calm down.

"Now do you want to tell me what's going on?" I looked up into his different colored eyes. "If you don't, it's okay." He looked down.

"I don't deserve you, Alex," He took a shaky breath.

"Awsten-"

"No, don't fight me on this. You can sing, and play multiple instruments, you run a YouTube channel, and you're in college, you just-" He sighed. "I don't know how you can handle all of that, I'm just... I'm not that. I could never be that, I-"

"Awsten, shut up." I said. He looked back up at me. I pulled him close and kissed him softly.

"I don't want to hear any of that self deprecating bullshit. You're adorable, you're talented, and just because I'm a musician and in college and all that bullshit doesn't mean I'm better than you. It only means that I'm in debt and I'm really stressed all the time. It's not good, Aws, I hate it and I can't wait to graduate and move to LA." I kissed him again.

"You're moving to LA?" He asked.

"Yeah, when I graduate, that's the plan."

"Damn, I didn't realize how far away you lived from me until just now," He looked down.

"Oh yeah, I guess... You live in Texas, right?" Awsten looked back up at me and nodded. "Well... We have two months left, we don't have to worry about this now." I offered a soft smile, and he smiled back at me. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"What would I do without you?" Awsten buried his head in my neck, putting his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"I don't know," I laughed a little.

"You know, I don't think I have anything else to do today, what if I just hang out with you today?"

"That'd be fine," Awsten grinned.

AYE GUESS WHO'S FUCKING TIRED

my musical closed last night and I had three cupcakes and two cans of dr. pepper so I already knew I wouldn't sleep at all and now I wanna die

-Alex🌈