Euthanasia ||Awsten Knight||

17- sadness

Awsten's POV

"Alex, what's wrong?" I asked. "Do you need to sit down?"

"I- uh- yeah-" They said. I began to help them sit down, but they slipped our of my arms. I looked down to see they'd passed out.

"Oh my god-" I got down next to them, panicking. They were still breathing, thank god. I looked up to see Nixie running over.

"What happened?" She asked, kneeling down.

"I don't know, they just- they didn't look so good, and I asked them if they needed to sit down, and then they passed out," I explained. "Are- are they okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're going to be," Nixie said as Alex began to come back. They opened their eyes and sat up.

"Oh my god," I pulled them onto my lap. "Please don't scare me like that ever again." I kissed their head.

"Sorry," They mumbled. They sounded almost... ashamed. Nixie handed them a sandwich.

"We've talked about this, Alex. You need to eat." She said. Alex nodded, taking a small bite. I held them close, wondering what Nixie meant. She looked up at me. "Awsten?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to go, but could you stay with them and make sure they eat the whole sandwich?" Nixie asked. I nodded, kissing Alex's head again.

"I'm sorry," They whispered. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad," I sighed. "I just want you to be safe."

"Okay," They curled into me, hugging me tightly. I rubbed their back, feeling them relax.

"Let's go back to your bus," I said. They nodded, and we got up slowly. I interlocked our fingers as we walked back to Alex's bus. I caught then trying to throw away the sandwich a few times, but stopped them and made them take a few more bites.

We arrived at their bus and sat down. They refused to make eye contact with me, and they were much quieter than usual.

"I'm not gonna make you talk if you don't want to," I whispered, wrapping my arms around them.

"No, I- you deserve to know," their voice was shaky. "But maybe tomorrow, or in a few hours or something," they sighed.

"That's okay," I held them close as they held onto me. Alex buried their face in my neck, shaking. A moment later I realized they were trying not to cry, and failing. I kissed their head and rubbed small circles onto their back in an attempt to calm them down.

"Will you-" Alex began, then stopped.

"What is it, love?"

"Nothing, it's just-" they took a deep breath. "Will you sing for me?"

"Of course," I smiled. I began to sing Take Her to the Moon, remembering that they once said it was their favorite song feeling them slowly relax against me.

"Feeling any better?" I asked.

"No." They curled into a ball on my lap. I felt my heart break a little bit as I kissed their head again. I wanted to help them so badly, but I had absolutely no idea what to do or say. Their phone buzzed, signalling a text message.

leriyahkeys: Hey we have to play, where are you

Alex were stilled curled up in my lap, so I tapped their shoulder. They looked up at me slowly, looking vulnerable and broken.

"Leriyah texted you," I said. They nodded and picked up their phone.

"I have to go," They sighed, getting up. I immediately stood up too.

"Wait," They turned to face me again. "Are you better?" I asked.

"No. This isn't the kind of thing that can be solved in a day. But I'm trying to be." They took a deep, shaky breath. I pulled them into another hug. "I really should go," They said, and I kissed them quickly before they left.