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Ethan reels as I tell him about my fight on the tour bus, it's clear that he could listen to the stories all day. It's still hard to talk about but I don't let on.

I frown as I rummage through my closet, I thought my days of rock shows were over. I couldn't refuse ludos invite especially when ethan really want to watch the band perform. I wonder if any of the guys rember me, we were pretty close for a few months.

As soon as my hand touches the chanel leather jacket at the back I gasp, memories of Ark giving it to me flood back . I wish I could have gotten rid of it as the memories are hard but it's so beautiful that I couldn't bare to leave it behind. I haven't worn it in 2 years and I don't plan on wearing it any time soon. I decide on some denim shorts and a black plaid shirt. I step into a pair of converse and feel like ive stepped back in time. With my hair in a messy bun and smokey eye make up im ready. Well as ready as I can be. Two years ago I would never have left the house looking so casual, it's funny how things change.

Ethan looks amazing as always, he's wearing skinny jeans and a ryder t shirt. He sneakily steals my eyeliner and lines his eyes, I pretend I haven't noticed.

"come on our train leaves in ten"

I sigh and follow him out of the door. I'm nervous, I don't think I'm ready to see him. I am excited to see ludo again, I plan on spending as much time as possible with him before he leaves.

"so what's it like backstage, is it as wild as the tour bus"

Poor boy is about to have his mind blown, he has no idea just how wild it will be. "you could say that. I remember when I went backstage the first time it was cranage. There were half naked women and alcohol everywhere. The parties would last for hours"

I giggle to myself as I think about the poor roadie who was sent on a beer run in women's underwear. I decide to tell Ethan the story of my first time backstage.

"The night I met the band was crazy. My sister and I were backstage drinking with them, if I'm honest my sister was probably doing harder substances too. We were in a small room that had three sofas, there were people everywhere purched on every surface it was so busy we could hardly move. The bar had been full of whisky, beer and other drinks, there was even wine"

"Wine, rockers drink wine" he laughs

I shake my head "no that's a story for another time"

" Me,Dianne and chad were on one sofa and Ark was sat on the arm, he was so close to me I was drowning in his aftershave. He held my hand and ran his fingers down mine as he complimented my manicure. We were so enthralled in eachother that we hardly noticed what was happening around us. Dianne was kissing chad, Robbii was getting a lapdance from two topless women and chad was smoking a joint with the roadies. Out of nowhere someone suggested we play a drinking game, Ark had argued it was lame until it was suggested we play never have I ever"

" Is that the one where you drink if you have done it" Ethan asks and I nod.

"Dangerous game when your playing with rock stars, they must have had unlimited alcohol"

I laugh as I remember the game and the things I learnt about my sister that I would rather not know.

Flashback

"If you've done it you take a shot" ludo explains as he fills the cups.

"I'll give it a miss"

"Pussy" Dianne teases, I hate that word and she knows it.

"Go on it will be fun" ark pushes.

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