will you be mine

38

"no not that one, it's too dark and gloomy" I complain.

"I'm dark and gloomy, I like this one" he sounds like he's made up his mind.

We've been married for 2 months now we should be picking which wedding photos we want to hang on our wall not what coffin my husband wants to be buried in.

"ooh silk, that's a nice touch. Feel how nice this is" ark asks as he runs his pale hand over the inside of the coffin.

"why would it have to feel nice, it's not as though you can feel it when your dead" robbii comments, I glare at him and mentally beg him to shut up. I have no idea why he decided to come with us, even I didn't want to come.

Ark laughs and snacks his friend on his back, he may be weak and sickly but he hasn't lost his sense of humour.

" I want red flowers but not roses, I don't want my wife to think of my death when she sees her favourite flower" I roll my eyes, i never had the heart to tell him that my favourite flowers were sunflowers.

He continues to tell the funeral director what he wants, it's clear that he's put a lot of thought into it. He has an answer for every question he's asked from what he wants to wear to where he wants to be buried.

I'm surprised when he states that he wants to be buried in Arizona in the plot beside his father . He informs us that he had bought the plots either side of his father's 20 years ago. The left side was to be his sisters when she passed, his mom will be burried with his father and he wanted to be at his father's right. I'm confused by this decision as ark had always told me his relationship with his father had been difficult and far from loving so I never thought he would want to be buried beside him.

"why would you want to be beside your dad, I thought you said he was a bastard" robbii blurts out, I kick his ankle making him yelp.

"it's OK, your right I hated my dad he was a dick. But now I'm older I realise just how much he did for us all. He worked 60 hour weeks to put a roof over our heads, we were never hungry. He even worked overtime so I could learn to play the drums and so my sister could take dance lessons. He sacrificed so much for us and he never got any thanks for it. I guess if I were in his shoes I may have been an irritable bastard too" ark says with a shrug.

"I don't like my dad but I respect him and I love him, my mom wants to spend eternity with him and I want to be with her."

"what about when I die, is there space for me to be put beside you" I find myself asking.

"no, I don't want you in Arizona. You should be with your husband and family" he says with a sad yet hopefully smile.

"your my husband" I argue.

"babe I know you can't see it yet but one day you will move on. You will get married and have the family you deserve. I know you love me but i want you to live your life, your life can't stop when I leave." ark squeezes my hand, I can't look at him I don't want him to see me cry. I look at robbii who looks back at me with a sad look in his eye, I notice a single tear leaving his eyes. I break down in tears and have to let go of arks hand to wipe my eyes.

" were done now right" ark asks the funeral director before taking my hand and leading me out of the building.

"babe I don't have long left, i need you to promise me that you won't give up on love when I leave. I need to know you will get married and have those kids that I know you desperately want."

"how can I even think of this right now, I love you. You can't expect me to promise that I will love someone, there may not be someone else out there for me" I argue.

"babe, I know there is someone out there for you. Just promise me you won't give up, if you get the chance at a happy ever after that you will take it"

I sigh "I promise"