Call Your Girlfriend

Part 5: In Which Helen Is Let In

I'm thinking positive today!

I'm pretending not to know about his girlfriend.

I'm going to have fun regardless of feeling guilty and hurt.

He's parked out front and leaning against his car door. He looks so chill in his leather jacket and black Motörhead the shirt. Ironically and sadly, it's the same one I'm have on. The London opener. His ripped jeans and boots scream badarse, and his aviator and slouchy beanie make him look younger than he is. I can't help but gawk at him from my front window. Who is this? Seriously? I have never witnessed Max in this form. I put in my last colored extension and look myself over from head to toe in my mirror. Ripped jeans, leather combat boots, band t shirt, leather jacket, crazy awesome punker hair. Make up on point. Lovely. Grabbing my suitcase and purse I check to make sure everything off and head out my front door and lock it behind me. He whistles as I turn and head down the steps. I blush madly at him and he pushes off his car and takes my bag for me, putting it in the trunk.

"We look good. Just saying." He says so charmingly. He's trimmed his beard back quite a bit. Almost like when we first met- he had just a bit of stubble. He looks hot. Sexy. God! Get a grip! Just friends! Just friends!

"Well, I can't argue." I walk around the front of his car and get in. He does as well. We head off and start our journey to Philly. Every so often, I catch him glancing at me. I feel self conscious. Should I be doing this? Should I tell him, I know about his girl? I've never lied to Max before. Knowing about her makes me feel slutty. Whorish. But it's not my fault. Max knows who he's in a relationship with someone and yet he still called this a date and still insisted on coming. He could have said no. He could have clarified that he has a girlfriend so this is strictly just a friend's trip. But no. He called it a date and he has yet to mention the woman he's most likely sleeping with.

"You okay?" He asks as we get on the interstate.

"Yeah...yeah I'm fine." I continue to look out my window. I'm not fine though. I feel like I should tell him I know. So he has no regrets and doesn't think he needs to do anything special for me. Take back the phrase date and make it more appropriate for our situation. Yet, a part of me...the devil's advocate...wants me to see how far he's willing to go before he comes out with it. How will he act if he doesn't suspect I know? I can always feign ignorance, the guilt will take care of him- but what if I were to ride this out? Do the whole weekend without any precursors or changing his mind in anyway. Ignorance can be bliss. Can't it? Am I terrible in wanting to see if Max'll cheat on this woman with me? If he'll hurt her to satisfy his friend?

Yes. I'm a terrible human being.

But...

If Max goes the whole weekend and doesn't say anything to me- isn't he worse? Even nothing drastic happens. Nothing deeply emotional comes into fruition, isn't he still terrible with intent?

"So, what's your favorite song?" He asks, taking my thoughts away from me.

"King of Kings. I mean obviously I like Ace of Spades as well, but King of Kings is my jam." He smiles and nods.

"I love that one. I also enjoy Shine and Please Don't Touch."

"I always wanted to be apart of Girlschool! I remember being in Secondary and trying to pull off Kim McAuiliffe's style. My mom would flat iron my hair and I bought so many all black outfits and the at one time I actually purchased an electric guitar and my friend Minnie and I made a 'band'. We were awful and I'm pretty sure we deafened the neighborhood, but God was it fun!" I loved rock bands. I remember being a wee child and listening to rock bands at full blast and my parents swore I was going to lose my hearing.