Call Your Girlfriend

Part 26: In Which Helen Tells Iggy

The loss of Xerxes hit me hard for a few weeks. Work was seeming to become harder- even when it shouldn't have been. I started losing track of the days faster than a kid on holiday. Max has been fluctuating in health. Some days he and Robert have a great day and others- there seems to be a dominance check- in which Max loses every time. Vijay recently came over and checked on him and stated that he could go back to lifting more than 3 lbs and bending over- but to still continue doing the exercises and trying to speak. Still no progress on that end. As for Max's sexual desires- they are still heightened, or maybe he's always been very touchy and I never realized it because of our friendship...but that mixed with his aggression- he's scary at times.

"You know it is Thanksgiving today?" Max's Google voice asks and I look at him dressed in casual clothes.

"Shit...no! I don't have anything for that." Panic has set in. I never miss a holiday. Even when I'm by myself- I still celebrate.

"I thought you might say that. So I went ahead and arranged a few things." Cocking my head to the side, the doorbell rings and I look at him like he's some kind of Time Lord. "Go see who it is..."

Walking down the hallway, I open the door and find none other than Vijay, Ella, Robert, Lauren, Casey, Iggy, and his family- and each have at least two kinds of food.

"Oh, my goodness- come in." They file in and many of the men give me small kisses on my cheeks as she shuffle passed me towards the kitchen.

"How are you doing?" Lauren asks, stopping at me.

"I feel like I'm losing my damn mind. I forgot what day it was."

"You've been so busy between work and here- we're not surprised. Come on. She takes me into the kitchen. Everyone has already taken over my stove and the rest of my kitchen. Casey has a turkey in a roaster, Iggy seems to have brought mashed potatoes and biscuits. Vijay brought some kind of casserole and dessert. Ella made deviled eggs and a cake. Robert- of course- brought booze and another side dish. I stand and watch all my friends take over the house without care. Iggy's three kids are playing in the living room with Luna and I notice Max is amongst everyone- helping and using his make shift talker to communicate. He even puts it in Hindi to talk to Vijay at one point. I just lean against the wall and watch them all seem happy.

I am too don't get me wrong...but, I feel as if I'm shadowed by that wall again. It came back after Xerxes. It shot up over night and just kept growing.

"Helen? You okay?" Iggy comes over and asks. I nod, but he knows I'm lying. "Come talk with me." He takes me to my family room that is passed Max's and he shuts the door. "What's going on?"

"I'm just...I'm struggling."

"Okay? With what?"

"I lost that little boy about two weeks ago and I just...I'm lost and guilted and...depressed. I know there wasn't anything that could've changed what happened, but I just can't stop feeling this way." He nods and sits down. He grabs a note pad off of the end table and takes a pen out of his pocket. I sit on my couch across from him. I guess we're having a session.

"Did you talk to anyone about the boy? About how you felt or what you can't stop thinking about?"

"I told Max about the initial loss and how I don't think I can do this job any more. It's all just weighing on me."

"Is it just the job or is it..." He pauses, knowing I can fill in the rest.

"No! He's not the problem. Iggy. With Robert helping I have no complaints about the situation."

"But how about when Robert isn't here. What's it like then?" I sigh and push my hands through my hair.

"It's different everyday. Some days it's like he's regular Max, who is just being quiet..."