Call Your Girlfriend

Part 13: In Which Max Starts Unraveling

I'm a fucking mess- let's be honest.

Yesterday was not my cup of tea.

Not only! Did Helen and Bloom miss work.

BUT!

Alice may or may not be pregnant.

This is a disaster. It truly is.

I feel as if I'm going to die upon the results of this test. Madge in the lab said it would take her a day to get the results back because she has more dire tests to do. Which is understandable. But this is pretty damn dire as well. This is the fate of my future in that testing. Babies are a blessing- don't get me wrong. If she is pregnant, I will do the honorable thing and take care of the baby and her financially and play into the whole Man's job- but I won't be happy about it. It's horrible for me to say that I don't want her to be pregnant. I don't want her to have my baby! I just want to get rid of her to be honest- because she was just supposed to be training wheels.

And now look!

Now I'm hiding in my office all day- fearing the worst- which is supposed to be a blessing.

I'm an asshole. I'll admit it. I'm not ready for another baby or for Alice to get even more clingy than she is. She calls me every day- several times like I have nothing better to do! She texts me constantly. I'm so close to just jumping off the roof to get her out of my life at this point!

I certainly can't break up with her now- especially if she is pregnant. How would that make me look? Horrible! Horrible! It would also break her heart and I don't want that. I don't want her to be hurt after losing her husband a few months ago. I would feel like shit. That's part of the reason I didn't break this whole thing off in the first place. I feel terrible making her feel sad and alone. I'm not that kind of guy. I don't hurt people- I help them. I heal them. But I never heal myself. Never.

I didn't sleep at all last night. I tossed and turned and paced my apartment. Not only worrying about Alice- but also about Helen. I hurt her real bad if she missed work yesterday.

I stare at my ceiling and feel my head is about to explode. I came into work early. Not because I wanted to make sure everything was good or to see Helen as she walked in- but because I needed to figure things out in a space that wasn't compromised. My office- as much as I hate it- is the one place no one can bother me. They know if the door's shut, I am not to be disturbed for random nonessential shit. So here I am. Staring at my ceiling, blood shot-dry eyes, and my head pounding. I had Adele deliver the coffee to Helen's office this morning for me. I can't be bothered looking like an even bigger fool in front of her. There's a knock on my door. Standing up, I'm so stiff and tired- yet fully awake. Opening the door, it's Adele with the coffee.

"Dr. Sharpe called off today. Sorry, Max." She hands me the coffee and scooters off down the hallway. I look at the coffee and just close my door. Two days in a row.

Helen has called off two days in a row?

Why?

Pulling my phone out, I look to see if I have any calls or messages from her.

None.

Going to my office phone, I call down to the E.D.

"This is Casey..."

"Casey- Hi...is Bloom in today?"

"No...called off again. Everything okay...you sound tired."

"Yeah, I'm fine." I hang up and set the coffee on my desk and just drop to my chair. Bloom isn't in either.

What the Hell is happening?

My phone goes off. I reach for it.

Alice.