Call Your Girlfriend

Part 6: In Which Helen Sees More Than Expected

We have about three hours to kill before the concert, so Max and I make our way around Philly. He's so calm and cool as we see the Liberty Bell and the Steps from Rocky- which Max decided he wanted to try and race to the top. Needless to say, I won by at least 7 steps. We toured everything and have decided that dinner should ensue. So we sit down in this little pub and have a drink over pub burgers and fries.

"So you really never watched Titanic." He asks and I shake my head.

"No! Why is that such a shock to you?"

"Because everyone has seen it. Everyone! Here, look." Oh God no. He gets up and goes over to a rather big gentleman at the bar behind us and taps him on the shoulder. This man makes Max look like a child, he dwarfs him that terribly. I fear for Max's life to be honest. "Sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering- have you ever seen the movie Titanic?"

"Who hasn't?" The big man answers and turns back in his seat. Max goes down the bar a bit more and taps on another man's shoulder- this black dude is nearly two times Max's size and is covered in tattoos.

"Sorry to bother you, but have you seen Titanic."

"Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing I'm just proving a point. Thank you." He comes back over and I bite a cheese fry and shake my head.

"I still haven't seen it."

"Well I guess I'm gonna have to change that- now aren't I? Now I gotta rent it and make the popcorn and find the tissues and fluffy comfort blanket. Huh- giving me more work Sharpe. Not cool. Not cool." His playful tone brings a warm smile to my cheeks. Or maybe it's my scotch. I don't know. Both maybe?

"Well excuse the Hell out of me, I have better things to do than watch some sappy movie."

"Sappy? Sappy? Helen- do you even hear yourself? Titanic is one of those movies that has you by the balls the whole time. It rips your heart from your chest and then shoves it back down your throat. Sappy? Phhhh come off it." Licking my lips, I can't tell if he's actually irritated or just joking- but either way I'm enjoying him and his annoying chatter.

"Do you want to ask those men if their balls were grabbed by the movie? Give 'em a tug?" Shaking his head, he sips back his beer and watches me through half lidded eyes.

"Ball tugging is a serious offense. It's not to be joked about."

"I wouldn't know...I don't have any." I say and he looks me over- contemplating something. I just don't know what.

"Okay- alright- here's a question, kinkiest thing you've ever done."

"Phhh fuck out of here. No." He takes another draw from his beer and gestures for me to answer. "I'm a lady. We don't kiss and tell."

"I never said kissing...I said kinkiest."

"Huh, you really wanna know?"

"Yes...absolutely."  I lean in and he does as well.

"One time- at Uni- this guy I had been with for a few months decided to spice things up...so we went to this pub and found two other girls and went back to campus and had a four way." I say and his jaw is on the table. "But that's not the best part."

"It's not?"

"No, the best part was this guy was a sub- do you know what that means?"

"I have a pretty good understanding of it."

"Let's just say, I'm great with a whip...among other things." His mouth is literally watering and I sit back and cross my arms- watching him take in every bit of information and catalogue it away for later use most likely. "What about you? Kinkiest thing you've ever done?"