Call Your Girlfriend

Part 12: In Which Max Struggles With Space

As Luna and I enter the atrium this morning, we do our morning checks and balances to make sure nothing is out of place. We say hello to Hector and Juan as they get the last bit of the floor shined up. We make sure that the administration part of the building looks acceptable and we head to Pain de Vie for Helen's coffee.

I know she told me to stop bringing her coffee- and I know it'll just make things worse...but like I told her. I don't do it to pay off the debt. I do it to see her at least once in the day. She wants us to pretend like nothing happened- so I must keep a normal schedule with her...right?

"Good morning Dr. Goodwin!"

"Good morning Ella. How are you feeling?"

"A little nervous. I go and find out what the sex of the baby is today."

"Awesome! It's always exciting. Isn't it Lu?" The baby flaps her arms and shoves her tiny fist in her mouth to munch on it. "So what are you hoping for? Boy or girl?"

"Well, I want them to be happy and healthy. But I wouldn't mind a girl. They're outfits are so cute and look at her! She's the sweetest little thing this side of the Hudson!" She hands me the coffee and I pay her in exact change.

"Well I hope you have a good day and let me know what you're having. If it's a girl I'll probably have left over baby things you can have."

"Oh, thank you!" I walk off and head towards the atrium. Time to wait. At exactly 7:45, every morning, Helen walks through those doors. Takes 20 steps in when I make my appearance. Every morning! I look at my watch. 7:45, I peer out from behind the wall and look.

No Helen...what?

No.

That's not right.

Maybe my watch is off. I look at my phone.

7:46. It just turned. I look again. Still no Sharpe. What the fuck? Where's she at?  Maybe she came in a different door today? I'll just head to her office. I go to the elevator and press the button. Waiting patiently, I guess this isn't the first time one of us was not where we were supposed to be. I mean that one morning I ran all the way to Starbucks just to get her that Venti Carmel Macchiato with two pumps of espresso and two cremes. I went 5 blocks out of my way for that coffee. Got up extra early just to get there, stood in line for nearly 40 minutes and had to fight to get a taxi all the way back to the Dam. All because I raised my voice to her about how she was wrong. If anything happened to Helen, I wouldn't want to live. Even if we remain estranged like this- I would want to go first because I couldn't throw the party she wants instead of a normal funeral. How does she think I could do that? I don't even think I could plan a regular funeral for her. Planning Georgia's was hard enough. Seeing her there, lifeless and done up like she was just sleeping. I could barely look at her because I didn't want it to be true.

If Helen died...I'd climb in the damn casket with her and have them bury me as well because I couldn't nor wouldn't live without her. She's the one person in this world that makes me feel safe. And I know that's kinda gender reversed- but after everything I've been through this almost passed year- she has always made sure I was safe and healthy and doing okay. Even when I pushed her away. Even when I felt I could handle things on my own- she was there, having a hand of support in it all. I mean Hell! The day I thought something was wrong with Luna- her first day of her demotion- she was the only thing that made that day go right. She calmed down several departments and did what I wouldn't have thought to do to keep the peace but still maintain the idea of doctor/patient care and hospitality.

She forged my signature, made big decisions about hiring people, and even told one sector to pretty much fuck off and do home visits so they could get to know their patients better.