Call Your Girlfriend

Part 25: In Which Helen Is Crushed

I stood there for hours. Blankly staring at the bed, that is now empty. Vashti lingers in the room as well. Neither of us know what to say. Neither of us can look away. Neither of us can breathe.

Did I miss something crucial? I did all the tests. On his heart. On his blood. Everything. That little boy, came in for chest pain and just died. What did I do? What didn't I do?

"Dr. Sharpe?" Vashti finally speaks and looks at me. Her son- her brother- lost. Gone. "It's not your fault."

I look up at her and my eyes are just dripping with tears.

"I'm so sorry...I....I'm so sorry..." She comes over and wraps her arms around me. I cradle her head against my shoulder and we just cry. "I'm so sorry..."

"He is with Allah now. He is at peace. You did what you could. I am grateful we had the chance to meet you." I hold her tightly and kiss her temple.

"Xerxes...told me...about you two." She stiffens and looks up at me.

"I didn't think he knew. I tried to hide it from him."

"What happened to you was wrong...but in a way an odd blessing- because you had a very special boy- who loved you." Her eyes close and her lip quivers.

"He killed my mother...when she found out. He tried to hurt Xerxes two years ago..."

"Did you....?"

"Yes...and then we came here to avoid police. Am I a bad person?"

"Absolutely not. Your father was the bad person. And he is damned to pay for his sins." She smiles slightly and then we pull apart. "If you ever need anything...you come here and find me."

She nods and then leaves. I remain in the room a bit longer. Today wasn't supposed to be like this. I was just supposed to have a normal work day- go get things for Max and Luna and then go home to relax. Now...now I can't even stop the tears and my runny nose. I take one last look at the bed and lose it. Dropping to my knees, I cover my face and just sob into my hands. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't.

I take a few moments before finding just enough strength to stand up and start down the hall to my office. Gathering my things and locking my office up, I make my way to Ped's to pick up Luna. The whole time my mind keeps thinking about if I was Vashti- or any mother for that matter- just bringing in your child to get one thing looked at and going home without them- never being able to see them again. I wouldn't want to live if I lost my child. A parent shouldn't ever have to lose their baby.

"Dr. Sharpe, you okay?" One of the nurses in the nursery asks as I start grabbing Luna's things and getting her ready to leave.

"No...not in the slightest." Getting Luna in the baby backpack, I sign her out and we leave. I feel so sick to my stomach- it blocks out the neck and back and feet pain. I just want to be sick. I make it out of the elevator and across the atrium. Heading outside, I feel my whole body crumbling beneath me. I still need to get stuff for Luna and Max because I didn't do it during lunch. I make my way to Max's apartment. Blisters beginning to form on the back of my ankle where my shoe rubs against my skin. I ignore the pain and after about 15 minutes make it to Max's apartment building. We head inside and up to his apartment. I take out his key from my purse and open it up. It seems so odd not having Max here. Shutting the door, I let Luna down while I gather clothes for her and Max.

It takes about 10 minutes to grab what I think they need and put it in two duffle bags and place them in Luna's stroller. We walk out after turning off the lights and locking up and take the elevator down to the first floor. Making our way back across town- the cool November wind blows against my face. I have Luna face me. Her head rests against my chest as I walk and push the stroller down the sidewalk. He heart aches deeply and my eyes feel like they're burning from all the crying I did. My head hurts as well- having given myself a headache from the whole day.  It takes us about 25 minutes, but we make it to my house. I turn around and drag the stroller up the four cement steps and maneuver my way to open up the front door. When I get inside I hear the basketball game playing and Robert yelling at the screen.