Mirai SMP (SMP Live AU x Future Diary)

➸ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 19: carson king

✧༝┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉༝✧

TECHNOBLADE

"I should have known."

The words are no more than a bitter mutter from under his breath; he spits on the ground, kicking the pebble that's been rolling in front of him for the past several minutes. It's pathetic, but least his focus on dribbling the small rock along the grass like a soccer ball slightly takes his mind off of the whole situation.

But even so, he can't help but let his sour thoughts trail back to them. Trekking along aimlessly through the dirt pathways dividing the bushes and trees, he smacks himself in the head. "I should've have known not to trust them. God, why did I trust him? How could I have even let myself think they were actually good people?"

He feels his head — but more importantly, his heart — ache. Like his heart had just been torn out of his chest. It's a different feeling, to how he felt when he watched Cooper die. His heart broke, but in a different way.

No, his heart hasn't been ripped out. It's been stabbed.

How the hell could I have been so gullible?

A wave of churning emotions floods his insides out; on one hand, he's furious. The kind of furious that makes his sweat-greased balled-up hands shake with adrenaline, and ignite a fire welling up in his ribcage. He's not only mad with them, but with himself. He should know that in the end, taking them up on their fraud of a deal was at his own risk. Really, he should be blaming himself, for being such a naive fool.

He screws his eyes shut, bringing his hand to clench his lips to stop himself from crying out. The other part of him is miserable. Burdened by a feeling of desolation and guilt. He hates them, and he hates them even more knowing they betrayed him. But he can't bring himself to truly . . . hate. To say he hates someone is one thing, but to feel it deep down — to feel that hatred, rooted in your blood and veins — it's something else.

He knows for a fact, that he is not capable of feeling true hatred towards them.

His eyes shut tighter, and he feels his throat choke up. He puts his head in his hands, helpless to the cry that tears from his throat.

Connor. You were my friend. I might have saved you, but in return you gave me the company I didn't even know I needed. You weren't afraid of me.

He stops walking, his legs shaking — it feels as if any moment, he'll collapse to the ground. He cries from his throat grow louder, like a shriek piercing through the skies.

And Schlatt . . . I thought . . . I thought I could trust you. I thought we were a team.

What was all of what they went through for in the end? Was it all an act, just to backstab him whenever they felt like the time was right? He can't bear to bring himself to even believe that.

No, Cooper and Travis would have never done that. They would never betray him, or keep things from him, or stab him in the back. He didn't even know them for long but it felt as if he knew them his whole life — like somehow, maybe in a different reality, they were close like brothers.

It only makes him feel more stupid — how could he have possibly thought that Schlatt and Connor could replace them? Nobody could replace them. Nobody.

He feels his face — it's damp with tears. His eyes sting as he opens them, as the cold hair hits his face. What is he doing? Standing here crying won't do anything.

He darts off, racing without direction through the clusters of trees and bushes. He gives up on hiding his face, letting tears roll down his cheeks as he uses the adrenaline he had to sprint with full force.